Lockdown

It was rather pleasant spending the 5½ or so hours I accrued in bed last night. When my 4 a.m. alarm chimed, I was awake, but ready enough to be getting up.

My youngest stepson was still up, but he seemed to call it quits around 4:15 a.m. and finally went to bed. His older brother may not even have been home.

I never made it away on my 5.625-mile round trip shopping hike to Real Canadian Superstore until after 6 a.m. Even so, I doubt that it was more than 10 minutes past.

It was still raining, but I concluded that it was not sufficient to warrant taking an umbrella, and that proved correct. I was never threatened with a serious wetting.

And due to the heavy overcast and very light rain, it was gloomy all the way home ─ I love it!

On the walk I have concluded that I am going to let my wife know that I am going to discuss with my younger brother the selling of the house. I will be blunt with her ─ I want to sell so that I can get away from her because of her constantly beseeching me each month for many hundreds of dollars of my pension, virtually leaving me destitute. She never pays it back; and even when she promises that she won't ask again, she does ─ not even a month later.

As well, her two sons are not contributing enough towards the fortnightly mortgage. Of late, I sometimes have to pay the full payment entirely without help.

I am fed up with having my name on the title, and being held responsible for everything associated with the fake ownership. The bank owns the house ─ my name on the title is no more than having my name on a rental lease or agreement.

I don't want this responsibility anymore that sees me held hostage here, unable to afford to go anywhere, or socialize. I have no friends ─ I am a prisoner of this house, unable to afford to even drink in a pub once a month. I can barely afford to keep myself supplied with beer to drink at home.

She never came home last night, which is fine. We have separate bedrooms. But I want to finally be able to be liberated of all responsibilities and to move far from here ─ maybe even to Alberta, especially if the N.D.P. have won in yesterday's provincial election and will have rulership here for another four years. However, I would need to be sure that anywhere I might go in Alberta did not fluoridate their drinking water.

I mentioned to my brother this morning that if the N.D.P. win, then maybe its time to get out of here. He agreed, but tempered that agreement by adding the caution of "Go where?"

That is not the worry to me that it is to my brother who is so tight with his drinking community ─ he is fearful of going somewhere else and not having his drinking friends around. He is, after all, 72 years old, so he feels vulnerable entirely on his own.

And rightly so, for he drinks heavily. To do this far from here in pubs or bars where he knew no one would be putting himself at risk of being beaten up and robbed or even killed.

I do not have such qualms. I have no friends that I would be leaving behind ─ friends I need as does he. I have no society here at all ─ just the other four people living in this house: him, my wife, and my two stepsons.

And I need to get far away from my wife! She abuses my soft heart time and again, and I pay a huge financial penalty for it.

So what if I go off and die somewhere within the year? I already have a life void of anything that is worth living for. I just want to enjoy financial liberation, and be free of all responsibilities ─ even if for less than a year.

At present it is 11:12 a.m., so I am going to take a break and have a meal; and then (I hope) a long nap. Once it gets dark again in the early evening, I plan on the 5.972-mile round trip hike to Fleetwood's Save-On-Foods for some further shopping; and then I will sit up late once my brother and I are both back here, maybe watching a couple or so of the T.V. series that we follow in common, while indulging in some beer.

But enough blogging for now.

♣♣♣♣♣

I never watched any morning videos with my brother ─ he preferred to be enraptured with the sappy repetitive non-news pap being provided by Global News Vancouver until I got so fed up with him and the damned programme that I came upstairs here to my computer and typed out the earlier part of this blog post.

He disappoints me to the extreme in so many ways.

Anyway, I had a decent afternoon nap, during which he left for the day on foot to catch a bus and go drinking somewhere.

The rain did stop, so my planned evening walk will be secure in that regard.

I've had some texted communications with my wife, primarily regarding the topic of food in the fridge. She wanted me to cook up some sausages ─ probably Thai ─ that have been there for a few days, but I was reluctant to bother. I am not that hungry.

Ultimately she suggested that I get her eldest son to cook them if he was home ─ which he was by that point. He is an eating machine.

Anyway, she said that she won't be back home until tomorrow night ─ probably after she finishes working at the Thai restaurant where she is employed part-time.

As my afternoon waned, I felt in need of an alcoholic boost for the pending outing, so I tuned in an episode of The Flash ─ specifically, episode seven ("Lockdown") of season eight.

I was going to watch it at this MoviesJoy.onl link, but I realized that the episode there was 16 seconds shorter than it was at this Supernova.to link, so I chose the latter option.

Maybe MoviesJoy only cut out the closing credits, but I wasn't prepared to be deprived of any of the episode.

I drank a can each of Cariboo Malt (8% alcohol) and Bumper Crop Crisp Apple cider (7% alcohol), and thoroughly enjoyed the show.

I am loving the cute awkwardness between characters Allegra and geek Chester ─ the Allegra actress (Kayla Compton) very much attracts me.

I most enjoyed the interaction involved in the double-dating of characters Frost & Mark Blaine / Chillblaine with Caitlin Snow & Marcus Ficus. I have always found actress Danielle Panabaker as Caitlin / Frost to be darned sexy. In fact, I would prefer watching a series featuring her Caitlin / Frost characters and their personal lives than I do The Flash, although this episode involving his 'coming out' as the Flash ─ and how it came about ─ to police captain Kristen Kramer was also satisfying.

Okay, it's dark now at 7:32 p.m., so I am going to ready now and do that long hike to Save-On-Foods at Fleetwood.