New Year's Eve 2020

I had myself an early evening yesterday, although I now don't recall just when it was that I retired. I am reasonably certain that it was likely by 9 p.m. at latest. 

Earlier, I had watched a Christmas movie and had a can of strong (8% alcohol) beer along with a stiff shot of amber or golden rum. The movie itself was interesting enough, but for some reason it just didn't have that much of an emotional impact upon me.

The feature was 2011's The Case for Christmas. 

The lead female role belonged to actress Rachel Blanchard, but the main character was an honest lawyer and widower dad played by Dean Cain. His young daughter was of course very cute, and played by actress Helen Colliander.

I was unfamiliar with either actress, even though I see by her acting credits that I have surely watched Rachel Blanchard act before ─ I just do not remember her.

Her character was a very close and longtime family friend who was secretly in love with Dean's character, but naturally he never suspected nor ever felt remotely attracted to her. And that just never works for me. The gal was good-looking! How could a normal male not feel appeal for her? Especially when the little girl ─ the man's motherless daughter ─ adored her.

I'm unsure, but I think that Rachel's character may even have been living in the same house. At any rate, she seemed to constantly be a presence. 

Maybe that element somehow detracted from the movie for me. Nevertheless, the movie was definitely enjoyable.

It seems that I have forgotten to mention another Christmas movie that I watched within the recent few days: 2011's Holiday Engagement.

I very much enjoyed that movie, too; but it also failed to break me down like I wanted.

The lead role in that movie belonged to actress Bonnie Somerville, yet another actress with whom I was unfamiliar.

I found her attractive enough in an innocuous way, but by the later stages of the movie I had grown to adore her and her character. So I went from not really feeling anything much at all for her, to knowing that I would have loved her for all time if I had ever been exposed to her as she was presented in the movie.

Good job on that, dear Bonnie!

I would happily watch the movie again with anyone who had not yet seen it.

Speaking of actresses, I learned overnight that actress Dawn Wells ─ Mary Ann of Gilligan's Island fame ─ died yesterday (December 30). It seems that now only Tina Louise remains alive of all the members of the castaways.

Anyway, after getting to sleep last evening, it was short-lived. I had retired just as my younger brother was arriving home. My wife was due home, but had not yet shown up. However, after she did, and made an entrance into the bedroom for something, I was already awake.

I almost always wear a bandana blindfold, so I had that on. And I did seek to try for one last bout of sleep, but I soon realized that it was folly.

Before I had watched The Case for Christmas, I had meant to have a bath. Unfortunately, I found that the evening was too advanced for one ─ I would be risking having my brother come home during the movie if I had first taken the bath.

So I decided to have it last night. By then, it was approximately 11:30 p.m. My wife was in this room (which is next to our bedroom) watching a movie or something on her tablet or smartphone, so I let her know first in case she needed to use the toilet.

My brother probably never had any idea that I was not still abed ─ I could see him still downstairs watching T.V. He was still there after I had the bath, but my wife had by then moved into our bedroom. That left me free to replace her here, pulling the door of the room nearly closed as she generally has it when she is here.

When my brother finally decided to head on upstairs to his bedroom, he passed by the room undoubtedly believing that it was my wife still within.

I remained up until after 4:30 a.m., mostly working on the post I have underway at one of my two hosted websites.

After returning to bed, sleep was still not easily acquired. When eventually I checked the time at 9 a.m. and got myself up for the morning, my eyes were burning from inadequate rest.

I had in mind a movie to watch with my brother at 10 a.m., but he was not interested after seeing what it was. "I don't want to watch any love story!" he growled. 

I'm sure it would have been more than that, for its setting was some estate in Russia in the early 1900s.

Perhaps I will seek to watch it on my own early this evening or even in the latter afternoon.

One thing of some note that we did watch was the series finale of Channel Zero. This was its fourth season, each of which told a different story. This particular story was "The Dream Door" and I felt it to be the better of the four.

I have only just discovered that one of the two male lead actors (Brandon Scott) in that final season is familiar to me ─ he played the school coach in the T.V. series Thirteen Reasons Why. 

Brandon played the lead character's husband, and she was played by actress Maria Sten.

I found myself impressed with how Maria Sten filled out her jeans ─ her legs looked to be exceptionally athletic. And this was borne out in scenes of her running ─ the girl had a powerful pace, and ran with a form that revealed an understanding and familiarity with the activity. She was no poser.

So I dredged up these three photos of her that I feel confirm my impression of those very utilitarian lower limbs of hers: 

She's definitely no slouch. That she is Danish surprises me, for I noticed no trace of an accent.

But I am glad the full series is done, as much as I would have enjoyed seeing much more of her work.

My brother had been taking and placing phone calls during the episode, and it developed that he was making arrangements to hook up with at least two other guys early this afternoon. I heard him quote 1 p.m. to one of the chaps.

And thus it was that at 12;20 p.m. he left for the afternoon. In doing so, he offered that he did not know if his girlfriend Bev ─ who is supposed to be coming here to help him prepare a New Year's ham dinner for tomorrow ─ will be wanting to come here this evening or not.

He further said that he hoped to be back home by 8 p.m. He is 68 years old, so he no longer cares to be off somewhere having himself an extremely late night trying to celebrate the arrival of 2010 and the death of 2020.

As for my wife, she has been unpleasantly uncommunicative. I twice tried to engage her by offering a lead-in to some potential conversation, but the first time she never even looked at me as she stared at the screen of her cellphone; and the second time she did look up, but said nothing and as quickly returned her attention to her cellphone.

I found it all so annoying that ere 12:30 p.m. I resorted without a word to my brother's bed and lay atop it, covered over with a light comforter, to seek some rest. I was down for something over an hour, and may well have dipped into a bit of a nap.

When I rose and came forth from the bedroom, my wife was gone. However, she returned while I have been at work on this post, but she said not a word to me. And now she is gone again.

She loves to party. For all I know, she is gone for the day.

I don't know why she gets into these miserable or withdrawn moods. Sometimes I think that she is only friendly towards me when she wants use of my credit card, or needs some money.

Anyway, it is 3:13 p.m. at this moment. I am going to take a break to have some exercise, and then eat something ─ my first meal of the day.

oooooooooooooo

Well, my afternoon is winding down, so I might as well publish this thing and be done with blogging for the year.

I've just finished watching the last 40 or so minutes of a movie I had to give up on a few days ago ─ maybe Boxing Day ─ when I was sitting up late with my brother. He had passed out, but the source I had for the movie through the Stremio 'app' that I have downloaded into our Android TV Box was freezing up so badly after the first hour that the movie had become unwatchable.

Wikipedia has the movie from 1947 listed in its roster of Christmas movies, but this hardly qualifes for that consideration.

The movie? The Philip Marlowe private detective tale Lady in the Lake. Elizabeth Montgomery's father Robert Montgomery played Philip Marlowe.

I was surprised to see that Jayne Meadows ─ the sister of Audrey Meadows (Ralph Cramdon's wife Alice in the Jackie Gleason comedy series The Honeymooners) ─ had a supporting role. Jayne actually played a multiple killer in this movie.

I suppose the lead actress role belonged to Audrey Totter. She didn't much appeal to me until her character started displaying a soft and tender side, and then I actually started to find her rather attractive.

What I find striking about both Jayne Meadows and Audrey Totter is that even though they were both rather mature young women when they served in the movie back in 1947, both of the actresses lived until quite recently. 

Audrey Totter apparently died on December 13, 2013 at the age of 95; Jayne Meadows died on April 26, 2015 at the same age ─ 95.

What are the odds of that? A couple of long-lived babes, for sure!

I didn't like the Marlowe character. His arrogant and smug way of talking to everyone was very annoying. I don't like people like that. And it was ridiculous that women seemed so drawn to him anyway. 

Were women really that stupid back then?

Whatever the case, I watched the movie this afternoon on my computer, for I found an excellent source for it at MovGoTV.com here. I could have used our Android TV Box and watched it at that source on T.V., but I didn't feel like fussing around.

My wife is still away, but at least I did have that bit of exercise, and a reasonably smallish meal. Actually, I think that both of my stepsons are also away, so I appear to be home alone as I type these words at 5:37 p.m.

I am now going to go and tune in that movie that I wanted to watch this morning, and I might even open a beer. But ─ a happy New Year to you!

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My Very First External Hard Drive

I confess considerable surprise to have checked my AdSense account for today and found that I have been credited with 14¢. This is the first accrual of anything at all since (supposedly) sometime in October when I was credited with 5¢. 

I had honestly believed that my last gain of any pennies was months ago ─ consequently, that it was actually just back in October seems too recent to believe. But I suppose that it must be so.

This is admittedly a rather nice discovery as 2020 draws to a close. However, please allow me to place this into harsher perspective.

After this 14¢ accrual, my AdSense balance ought to total out at $54.20. But Google only pays out a balance once it breaks into a $100 total.

And so I am a very little more than halfway to a payout. 

Now here is where that harsh perspective comes in. My last payout was for $101.23 ... but that was back on October 21, 2016.

In other words, just over four years ago. So ... is it going to take me about another four years to break into that $100 payout threshold?

Please keep in mind that I am 71 years old. In four years, I'll be 75 years old, if I am still alive.

Google is not exactly providing me with any kind of living income! And even if I do make it to that next payout, will I then be faced with waiting yet another eight years to again achieve that $100 threshold? I would be 81 years old, if that's the case.

This is ridiculous.

But on to other matters.

I managed to get through yesterday without a taste of alcohol. As I wrote in yesterday's post, if I had not been dedicated to creating an entry in this blog that day, I would have instead tuned in a Christmas movie and had some drinks.

The Christmas / New Year's period generally finds me in a heightened state of anxiety due to some alcohol (and also social) withdrawal. I tend to feel especially lonely, and my life especially void.

An emotional Christmas movie and the drinks to encourage that emotion are oddly cathartic, and I usually enter into a weepy state. But at least by then I am not keenly sober and painfully conscious of my loneliness.

Drinking also numbs me. Fortunately, however, yesterday I was not beset with those profound pangs of yearning to dull that pain. I found myself feeling distinctly normal.  

Nevertheless, that said, I would definitely have been drinking if I had the time to have watched a Christmas movie instead of busying myself with a post here. I definitely wanted to see a Christmas movie and have some drinks.

And that is where I find myself today. I do not feel particularly lonely nor craving of a numbing drink, but I do intend to tune in a Christmas movie late this afternoon once it becomes dark. And I will have some drinks.

I am composing this post early toward that end, for it is only 1:36 p.m. as I type these words. My younger brother is still within his bedroom resting up for his daily afternoon away ─ a wet weather day, incidentally. And since I expect that he will be busing, the likelihood of him arriving back home by 9 p.m. are remote. Which is to say, I am going to have lots of time for a movie.

I got to bed early last evening. I was upstairs here when I heard my brother arrive home ─ what I heard was him hauling out the two wheelie bins to street side for today's emptying.

So rather than become involved with him, I just went to bed. In fact, I was in bed at exactly 8:30 p.m.

I was actually able to acquire a few blocks of decent sleep over the evening as I awaited the arrival of the midnight hour when he usually retires to his bedroom for the night. I would then rise and come here to my computer to get some work done.

I think that I may have checked the time around 10 p.m. after one decent block of sleep; and then again at 11:01 p.m. after another. I may even have slipped into a bit of a nap after that, for it was early into the midnight hour when next I checked.

But my brother was still downstairs lounged in front of the T.V. Unfortunately, he was unconscious.

I had yet to brush my teeth ─ a process that can take as much as 20 minutes, for it involves the use of coconut oil and I usually spend a few minutes swishing the oil around in my mouth before expectorating it.

So I involved myself in that as I lay atop my bed.

He was still unconscious in his recliner when I finished, so I simply came here to my computer that is kept in a small room immediately next to my bedroom, and I pulled the door nearly closed.

I figured that when he finally came upstairs, he would see my bedroom door closed (which it was), and probably believe that my wife must have come home ─ she spends much of her evenings shut up in this room with the door mostly closed when she his home. She watches movies on a tablet, and does whatever else ─ she is active on Facebook, for one thing.

Anyway, I expected that he would probably just think that she was home and that he had failed to remember that fact, thereby thinking nothing of it.

And so it apparently was. He passed right by the mostly closed door without question.

I put some work into adding content into a post I have in progress at one of my two last hosted websites (I used to have six of them), but the urge was there to instead just go downstairs and watch a Christmas movie and have those drinks.

The urge did eventually pass, but I became possessed of a rather foul mood ─ it would have been better to have watched the movie. My mood became so embittered or negative that I didn't even much care that I had a Christmas music station playing on my computer ─ I had found it helpful to tune it in the night before. As I implied earlier, I have a terrible time of society so abruptly relinquishing everything relating to Christmas.

I had been listening to a U.S. radio station that began playing Christmas music late in October; and then one of our local radio stations started doing so on November 12. So that had been my musical diet ever since ─ it was all part of an unusually long buildup toward the big day. 

Having that immersion for over two months makes it too hard on me to just suddenly let it all go ─ I need to taper off, and not drop it all 'cold turkey'.

oooooooooooooo

I took a considerable break and now my afternoon is nigh done. One of the things I needed to take care of was a scheduled exercising session out in the cold backyard toolshed. That is one thing to my credit over these holidays ─ I may not be exercising quite as fully as I might otherwise have done on any particular day, but I have not yet forsaken an entire day. 

I am keeping myself physically challenged.

But I would still like to try and perform 201 of my version of Hindu squats, and also have a bath. I have just had an evidently badly needed nap, so I am working my way through a cup of hot instant coffee ─ unsweetened, but well creamed.

And now I hear my wife home! Well, maybe I am not going to get done that which I had hoped ─ maybe not even the movie. But we shall see.

I would like to mention that during the latter morning, I tuned in ─ via our Android TV Box and one of the browser 'apps' that I have downloaded into it ─ a Dr. Joseph Mercola interview that my brother and I watched on T.V. at BitChute.com: Media Bias and Journalism Censorship- Interview with Sharyl Attkisson. 

The interview was an hour and eight minutes or so, and he watched it uncomplainingly.

I was already familiar with the lady, but he will not have ever heard of her. 

Then when that rather interesting interview was done, I tuned in a nine-minute video on the same platform: With the risk of being censored, we make this public... 

It seemed a dramatic condensation of a far longer production, so I can't securely explain the video. There seemed to be three or four different people in communication with one another as if in a teleconference, and who were sounding alarm over matters such as the eradication of (monetary) currency ─ part of the agenda being enacted upon the world by wealthy entities united against the rest of us in their "Great Reset" master plan.  

I feel that it is essential for us to keep this threat foremost in our thinking, for many of us do not as yet have our lives ruined, and so we carry on lulled ─ and just because things seem to have a working sort of normalcy, the threat is meantime growing and it will ultimately descend heavily upon us, too. It will be too late to do anything to fend it off.

Anyway, I must close this post. I can still tackle those squats ─ it was not my wife whom I had heard after all. It was some young thing who must have driven home my youngest stepson (the 23-year-old) from work. She is still here 20 minutes later ─ I can hear them talking quite quietly downstairs.

Will she turn out to be his new girlfriend? 

A package arrived today for him while he was away. It would seem that one of the things the large box contained was an external hard drive ─ specifically, a Seagate 1tb (tetrabyte) Backup Plus Slim. The reason I know this is because he has come upstairs here to me to present me with it.

A few days ago, we had been in discussion about just such devices after he had suspiciously (a day or two prior to Christmas) enquired of me if there was an computer accessory I would not mind acquiring.

The two of us do not just engage one another in idle chatter, so I suspected that he had a Christmas gift in mind.

I have indeed been contemplating the wisdom of embracing the expense for an external hard drive because my computer is quite old now, and there are files and even some software on it that I would hate to suddenly lose forever. But on my limited pension income, I have never dared that expenditure.

I did not realize that prices have come down as much as they have since a few years ago when I first began having concerns about my computer dying.

He left the small external hard drive with me so that he could go back downstairs to his guest, but he said that he would research just how to get this thing set up. And now she has left ─ she was here at least a half hour.

I had always thought that these devices were large ─ maybe as large as a laptop, but of course far thicker. Probably by several inches. It was only during our discussion of a few days ago that he educated me on how small these things really are, for he presented one that he owned and used. 

And now I have one.

Bless the lad. I get furious 'behind the scenes' (i.e., within) at him on a regular basis, but he really is a decent young man, as is his older brother. I love the both of them.

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Love's Christmas Journey

My blogging opportunities are considerably reduced of late. Within the past week, I have missed out on posting on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, and now yesterday.

I had thought yesterday to have my first alcohol-free day since December 23, but early in the evening I felt some need to introduce a couple or so ounces of amber or golden rum into my system as I watched some T.V.

My wife has been home much of late. I think, though, that she will be going to work this afternoon (she usually has a 4 p.m. start when she starts in an afternoon). Whatever the case, she will be going somewhere, whether to work or not, and will not be back this evening.

I am happy to report that today we received the $1,000 represented by the so-called BC Recovery Benefit which we applied for online on the afternoon of December 21. I had gotten a notification by E-mail on Christmas Eve that we had been approved, and that the money would be directly deposited into our joint chequing account "within 5 business days". 

So that has been handily done.

I believe that it was in my last post that I made reference to a blow-up I had with my younger brother on Boxing Day evening. He and his girlfriend Bev had gone out that afternoon, leaving me to pass time as best I could on my own, for my wife was not present. Of course, her two adult sons likely were, but I don't 'hang out' with the lads.

I always feels terribly anxious when I am into alcoholic and social withdrawal due to past intensive social drinking, so I was nursing drinks that day. Late in the afternoon, I used our Android TV Box to tune in a Christmas movie on T.V. ─ my selection was 2011's Love's Christmas Journey. 

I had seen in that Wikipedia article that it was an especially long movie ─ supposedly, 240 minutes (or exactly four hours). Yet anytime I found a link for it through the 'apps' I have downloaded into our Amazon TV Box, the feature was always listed as only being something under 1½ hours.

So I started watching it. But after 15 minutes, it was so very clear that what I was experiencing was a badly condensed version of the original. Nothing made sense. Events were happening deep into their developments, with no explanation of how they had come to pass. And characters were appearing from out of nowhere with no introduction as to who they were.

It was all dreadfully confusing. Do not ever bother yourself with this movie if you see that it is a short version and not the full feature of over 2½ hours' duration.

I finally cancelled out of the useless mess, and came to my computer to search for a potential online source. 

Then I discovered that the full movie was on YouTube ─ or at least, a 2 hour and 46 minute version, which was more than double anything I had thus far discovered.  

So I returned to our T.V. and used the YouTube 'app' in the Android TV Box to locate the movie, and I began watching it from the start.

Then about a half hour into the movie, my brother and Bev returned, and it was clear from their bantering as they came into the house that they were drunk.

My brother no sooner had come into the living room that he immediately retrieved the remote, bitching about the volume. This set me right off. It was not bad enough that they were going to interrupt my movie with their ongoing bickering as a result of being utterly disinterested in the movie, but I would not even have a hope of properly hearing it. 

Furious, I jumped up and turned the Android TV Box right off and switched the T.V. over to its basic cable package, and stormed upstairs here to my computer to watch the movie in peace.

My brother tried to defuse the situation, citing his "sensitive ears", but I wasn't interested in his excuses. And since he cannot operate the Android TV Box, he and Bev were to have quite little entertainment to choose from.

I felt somewhat bad for her (she was not in the room at the time of the flare-up), and even for my brother who was going to have to confess to her his limitations insofar as T.V. entertainment were concerned.

I still had better than two hours of the movie left. However, I managed to largely enjoy it as I continued to have some beer.

Originally I was in such a state here in this room that it was my design to retire early ─ that is, right after the movie. That would serve him! 

But I was to relent as the time passed. And of course, the wholesomeness of the movie also helped to put me onto a better track.

Incidentally, Wikipedia was wrong about the length of the movie. IMDB.com lists it as being 172 minutes (i.e., two hours and 42 minutes), and that was the length of the YouTube feature that I had located to watch. Nothing at all seemed to be missing at any time, unlike with the sub-1½-hour version of the movie I originally tried watching.

Unfortunately, the YouTube copy was so murky or blurred that I almost chose not to bother with it, but I stuck with it and managed to overcome my initial aversion.  

I also want to explain that the movie was actually in two parts, as I was to discover at its halfway point. It was actually two shorter movies back to back, with the second one starting at the midway point with its own opening title and credits.

While I was reviewing that IMDB.com article on the movie, I noticed a trivia item as follows: "Ed Asher is nowhere in cast list but portrays Nick ... AKA Santa".

This irked me so much that I actually created an IMDB.com account just to add a rebuttal that may or may not get approved. As I stated in my rebuttal, I have no idea who "Ed Asher" is; but if it was Ed Asner whom was intended, then there was good reason that he was not listed in the credits as Nick / Santa.

It was Ernest Borgnine ─ who was indeed listed in the credits ─ who had that role.

I guess I'm going to have to watch all of the other movies in the Love Comes Softly franchise. I never realized that there ever was such a series of stories.

The little girl in the movie was played by then child actress Jada Facer who had her 19th birthday this year (March 18). The cute little girl is now a very lovely young woman:

Anyway, following the movie, I did return downstairs and rejoined my brother and Bev. They were practically starved for something worthwhile to watch, so I tuned in Battle of the Bulbs for them. I had already watched it a week or so earlier.

Alas, however, Bev was on her last legs, and anon my brother had to escort her up to his bedroom so she could crash for the night.

He and I watched T.V. until maybe 1:30 a.m. before he gave it up and joined Bev. But not stupid ol' me. I submitted to my addiction and was not to make my way to bed until nearly 5 a.m.

I have some exercise I want to get at, and my evening is already advancing. When my brother left for the afternoon today, he said that he was going to pick up Bev to take her shopping. Reportedly she wants to buy a ham and have the makings of a New Year's dinner ─ which she intends to be preparing here with my brother. 

In other words, I will not be faced with just the two options of either retiring early New Year's Eve, or else waiting up for my drunken brother to come home from wherever he will have been drinking and then sit up with him.

Bev can be wonderful company, and I always look forward very much to those rare occasions when she is due to spend a night or two here in our home.

Okay, I must get at that exercising now so that I can have some supper and be prepared to get to bed as soon as I notice my brother returning home. After all, it's not New Year's Eve yet.

And happily, this is the first time since I began drinking on Christmas Eve that I am not feeling especially lonely nor anxious. Even so, if this post had not been in my way, I would have tuned in a Christmas movie and had some drinks to go with it.

Today, I will be retiring 'dry' on this otherwise mainly wet day.

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💀☠💀☠💀☠ Christmas Aftermath

My evening is well underway, so this will not be a lengthy post verbally. The various photos I have to present will be fleshing it out.

I want to lead off with four that I took on Christmas Eve of the front of our home at 6:41 p.m. displaying the Christmas lights we still have illuminating the night:

This next selection were all taken on Christmas day at various times ─ some of the photos were downloaded by me from my wife's Facebook account, so I do not have the precise time with which to identify when they were actually taken on that day.

I will lead off with the photo of my brother and his girlfriend Bev early into the task of preparing the wonderful turkey dinner that we all were to be blessed with ─ I can attest that this photo was taken at precisely noon:

Next up are some photos taken at 6:50 p.m. ─ or at least, the two I took were taken then. I snapped the two photos as my wife was also taking three photos of my proud brother and Bev posing at the dinner table and its array that they had so skilfully prepared for us:

 

Of course, by then much of the food was gone ─ we had all 'dug in' about three hours earlier.

My wife took this selfie of herself and her two sons at that earlier point when they were about to load up on some dinner ─ it was possibly around 3:45 p.m.:

She took this photo of me as I was bearing my plateful of fare to the chesterfield to enjoy it along with a Christmas movie that we were to watch:

And these two photos are a couple that my wife took of the dinner table before anyone had yet eaten:

I took these two photos of my wife in an exchange of gifts with my brother and Bev at 3:50 p.m.:

Finally, I am including two photos that she felt inspired to take of a lottery gift pack she had received as a gift:

As you may well perceive with the Christmas Eve photos from outside the house, we still had some snow remaining from our small 'one and only' snowfall this season thus far ─ it was originally something over an inch a few days earlier. 

A cold snap had kept it from thawing, but rains came. There was a tiny amount of the snow remaining Christmas Day, but it was all gone by Boxing Day.

Last evening saw a set-to take place between my brother and I that resulted in me abandoning him and Bev for about two hours before I relented and came back downstairs to rejoin them, but I think that I may be able to implicate the emotional disturbance as having some blame for what was to ensue later that night.

To wit, after my brother had gone to bed to join Bev who had done so considerably earlier, I stupidly sat up until almost 5 a.m. this morning in servitude to my endorphin addiction.

I will say no more.

As for Bev, she was here from late in the morning Christmas Eve until my brother took her away around 1:05 p.m. this early afternoon. I had to give her a goodly hug for being here ─ she truly does add a lot of comfort to the whole Christmas family experience. Even my eldest stepson felt obliged to offer his won hug of her.

However, with her gone ─ and my wife left us early last evening, promising to be back sometime today ─ I have been experiencing some social and a little alcohol withdrawal that has betimes left me feeling uncomfortably anxious and lonely.

I had a very good infusion of amber rum in the latter afternoon / early evening while watching a 2011 Christmas movie titled Mistletoe Over Manhatten that had some very touching moments that brought forth my tears. 

Lead actress Tricia Helfer was very familiar to me, but I had to research just why ─ it was her role in Battlestar Galactica that riveted her into my memory. She's tall and lanky, but undeniably 'hot'.

Her male co-star in Mistletoe Over Manhatten was Greg Bryk, who usually plays unsavoury characters. In fact, I am still working my way through the series Frontier, and he has a recurring role as an effete and almost mincing murderous homosexual that is so convincing that I had a hard time initially liking his character in this Christmas movie. In fact, throughout the movie I had to quell that antipathy.

Anyway, I have said enough for this post. I came here to work on this post upon the movie's finish, and now I want to introduce some more drink into my system ─ I am feeling uneasy once more. The effects of the rum I drank earlier have largely worn off.

I always have a relatively hard time dealing with the Christmas / New Year's holidays.

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Christmas Day 2020

This is the briefest of posts, for it is 11:37 a.m. Christmas Day, and my younger brother has just left to fetch his girlfriend Bev. She did not come here last evening as I had expected she might.

The plan is that she will be collaborating with my brother on the preparation of a wonderful turkey dinner.

My wife will be showing up anon; at present, both of her adult sons are yet abed.

Reportedly Bev wants to watch a special NFL game this afternoon, so Christmas movies will be on hold until she has had her fix of that sport.

As far as Christmas movies go, I want to mention having watched a very poor Christmas movie two evenings ago titled The Heart of Christmas. It was clearly an overtly Christian movie that could only be considered anything at all happy if the viewer was a convert; to anyone else, it was utterly depressing.

I also did not care for the Christian songs some guy kept singing as background or mood music throughout the movie.

I would never knowingly watch this movie again.

Last evening my brother and I watched two old 1947 Christmas movies. I led them off with Christmas Eve, and then It Happened on 5th Avenue. They were delightful, although I would rate the second of them to be the better. Young Gale Storm (she was around 25 years old) was so very fetching in the lead female role. 

But I must take leave now. It is 11:52 a.m. My eldest stepson is up, and my brother and Bev are both here now. 

I will only pause this post on the chance that I may add to it later today. However, if I find no time, then I will simply publish it this evening without adding a further word.

A Christmas Kiss │ Banshee Series Finale

My Christmas movie choice early last evening was 2011's A Christmas Kiss ─ and it was a winner. Sufficiently so, anyway, that I will add it to the select few that I intend to re-watch when my younger brother brings his girlfriend Bev here tomorrow afternoon for a couple days and nights to share in the Christmas experience with us.

The main character was played by actress Elisabeth Röhm who has quite an extensive list of acting credits, yet I find myself unfamiliar with her despite realizing that I must have seen her a number of times previously. 

She sure was cute in the role.

What now surprises me is that the actress who played her boss and romantic competitor was Laura Breckenridge ─ someone else I am unfamiliar with. What surprises me is that Laura Breckenridge looked to be Elizabeth Röhm's somewhat elder, yet I see now in Wikipedia that Laura Breckenridge is actually almost a decade younger than little Elizabeth Röhm. 

I had watched the entire movie thinking that Laura Breckenridge played the hot ghostly maid in the very first season of American Horror Story, but I see now that the actress in "Murder House" was Alexandra Breckenridge.

I wondered why she didn't have the appeal to me in A Christmas Kiss that she certainly did in American Horror Story ─ it was not her at all.

Of course, the actor (Brendan Fehr) having the lead male role in the movie was very familiar to me ─ I was a huge fan of the T.V. series Roswell.

The actress portraying one of Elisabeth Röhm's character's two close friends became unexpectedly attractive to me ─ initially, actress Laura Spencer seemed a little too gangly and perhaps even plain for my tastes, but she won me right over with her adorable antics. She first got me with her tease of her friend's romantic timidity by doing an impression of the 'chicken dance' while seated in a café or similar eatery; and then a second time she simply waggled her eyebrows, and that was enough for me. I figuratively fell in love with her!

And she is cute ─ here's a photo of her:

It will be a pleasure to re-watch this movie tomorrow or on Christmas Day.

Over the course of the movie I drank a can of strong (8% alcohol) beer and had two stiff shots of golden or amber rum. I had my concerns over possible repercussions when I retired fairly early that evening, for I wanted to be able to get up ─ preferably in the midnight hour ─ to do some work here at my computer.

I admit feeling somewhat 'snapped' or 'looped' by the time I went to bed, but I seemed to manage to find sleep in due course. However, by 11 p.m. I was awake again and in need of use of the toilet to micturate.

My brother had gotten home before I retired for the night, but I had avoided him. He usually heads on up to his bedroom for the night around midnight, so that was what I was anticipating. I would rise soon thereafter.

But I could not get back to sleep. I refrained from monitoring the time until eventually I had to check again ─ it was something like 12:18 a.m., and still the T.V. was on downstairs. Was my brother passed out?

A peek revealed him to be reclined with his head drooped low onto his chest ─ he was done.

I hadn't brushed my teeth (a lengthy process of 15 - 20 minutes involving coconut oil), so I ensured that I spent a full 20 minutes doing that in my darkened bedroom, expectorating the oil into a waste bucket.

Then I decided to just come here to my computer, which I keep in a small room immediately adjacent to my bedroom. I would pull the door almost closed, and my brother would not realize that it was me in the room when he came upstairs to go to bed, for my wife often spends some of her evenings in here when she's home. He would just think that she was home ─ he would be too inebriated to remember anything earlier.

He never roused and finally came upstairs until just about 1 a.m., first bidding goodnight to my eldest stepson who was still up.

And sure enough, he passed right by this room without any suspicion that it was not my wife who was herein.

I was to remain up until possibly near 5 a.m. before going back to bed, putting on my bandana blindfold to help ensure that I did not become adversely affected by the breaking of early day. And then I sought to fall asleep.

However, maybe five minutes later as I lay with eyes closed, there began to develop a phantom illumination that grew more and more brilliantly bright like some great star-bright light. I was going to say a white light, but that is an actual colour. Rather, the light was a silvery incandescence like the brilliant light of stars in deepest night.

But one of my eyes ─ the very poor right one ─ seemed to be in physical distress. It was a most disturbing sensation.

Growing alarmed, I lifted my blindfold and began blinking hardly and rapidly, and even rolling my eyes about. There was indeed something dreadfully amiss with the eye.

I found there to be a great shadow overtop the upper field of my vision that extended downward centrally, and it was impossible to see anything through it.

Had I somehow had a partial optical failure and was now fully blind in that region of my right eye's vision?   

Believe me, I implored to God that it was not to be so. Since my young adulthood, I had always prayed that whatever was to become of me, He was to at least ensure that I always retained my eyesight in both eyes, and also my teeth.

If ever I was to die ─ even violently ─ let me do so intact.

I exercised my eyes for a while, and then decided that all I could do was to try and relax into sleep and hope for a correction of whatever had stricken me.  

Thankfully, when I did sleep and later was awake around 8:30 a.m., everything seemed back to normal.

For perhaps the past 16 to 17 years, I have been prey to migraine auras. Possibly this was some manifestation of another such attack, but I just don't know. I have never experienced the symptoms like this before, nor did I find myself with the usual vague headache an aura usually leaves me with for a day or two. 

And why strike when I was in bed seeking sleep? My eyes should have then been at rest ─ not under any strain to warrant the onset of an aura.

I still find it concerning.

But let's move on with today.

I was to watch some T.V. with my brother beginning around 10 a.m. ─ as usual, via our Android TV Box. I started things off with the latest video by Odessa and Norb Orlewicz of LibertyTalkCanada. And I see that there is already a new one there ─ we'll have to watch that one tomorrow morning.

Something else of note that we watched was the series finale of Banshee ─ that was truly a fabulous series, and one not easily replaced.

I wish we could have gotten to see the aftermath of Kai Proctor's lonely shootout with the six cartel killers who had come to exterminate him.

And when next my brother and I resume watching The 100, I am going to have an entirely new appreciation of actress Ivana Miličević, for I recognized her from that series as the leader of a shipload of prison inmates that had landed on post-Apocalyptic Earth. 

Banshee certainly has some extremely good actors and actresses! 

I doubt that we'll try to watch Banshee Origins, since we already know how the series ends, as well as a lot of the characters' backgrounds. Besides, the episodes are too short ─ probably ranging from maybe five minutes to 10 or so minutes. I remember trying to watch some other series' webinar episodes ─ a failed planned spin-off of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  They just weren't worth the bother. They were far too condensed.

I am typing this now after 9 p.m., and I have watched another Christmas movie, but I only had one can of strong beer. I won't report on the movie in this post, but I will say that it was a disappointment and will definitely not be one I ever plan to re-watch.

My brother went away this afternoon afoot to catch a bus so he could ultimately rendezvous at a pub with one or more of his drinking buddies. I knew that he would not be home before 9 p.m., so that is why I am still working on this post.

However, there is no sense tempting fate ─ he could arrive back at any moment. And since I am actually rather tired, I am going to call it a night and get myself to bed.

Christmas Eve tomorrow! 

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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Even though my wife was home yesterday, after dark I used our Android TV Box to watch the 2011 Christmas movie 12 Wishes of Christmas.

During it, I had a can of strong (8% alcohol) beer and a good shot of golden or amber rum.

However, as far as I'm concerned, the movie was a farcical write-off. The main character as portrayed by actress Elisa Donovan wasn't even likeable for the first two-thirds of the movie because she was so cluelessly and unfathomably dense. I can't stand that level of stupidity in someone who is supposed to be middle-aged. It's bad enough in someone young.

I will not be adding this loser to the movies I intend to tune in when my younger brother brings his girlfriend here for a couple of days and nights over the Christmas period. She wants to cook a Christmas turkey dinner here.

My poor brother actually had to leave here around 1 p.m. today without any bed rest ─ he had arranged to go and pick her up to take her grocery shopping, to get her hair done ... and it seems to me that there was something else that I am now unable to recall.  

Anyway, I am going to try and catch another Christmas movie by early evening today. The couple of drinks that I have been allowing myself during them is slowly building my acclimatization to alcohol ─ I am going to very much need that tolerance when my brother brings Bev here, for all we'll be doing is watching Christmas movies and enjoying drinks during them.

In yesterday's post here, I spoke of the snowfall we received ruing the latter morning and noon hour. We received over an inch of the stuff before the snow turned into rain.

However, the rain only lasted for a very few hours, and then we had a freeze. And now the blanket of snow that still remains is of course frozen. Some thawing occurred during the day today because it was sunny, but the thawing only applied on concrete ─ and I suppose places like rooftops. The ground would not warm up enough to allow for any such melting.

And with a clear day, we will have another freeze tonight. Nevertheless, my brother said that he had heard that we are due rain again by maybe Friday.

Before he had to head off early this afternoon, late in the morning I watched some T.V. with him via our Android TV Box (which only I am able to operate). I started things off with a 17-minute 2015 Tim Larkin TEDx Talk titled The Paradox of Violence.  

My brother was not familiar with Tim Larkin, but I have known of him for well over a decade.

I followed up that video with a Corbett Report titled Solutions: The Thick Red Line. I have linked to its source at BitChute.com, but we watched it on YouTube. I just don't happen to believe these kinds of videos are secure on that platform due to the draconian censorship that is practiced by YouTube. 

Then we watched a long episode of the T.V. series Endeavour ─ we're only into the first season. I noticed that there is a so-called special pilot episode that I failed to originally discern when we first began watching the series a few months back, so I will do my best to remember to tune that in when next we watch the series. But that won't be for three weeks' time.

Anyway, that series episode took us to around 12:20 p.m., and my brother then had to begin getting ready for his outing. He would be gone for the entire afternoon, after all, and into the evening.

My poor wife got into my amber rum early last evening, and the dear thing never stopped until she had drank at least a mickey (or half a fifth) of the liquor. 

She had to work today, but fortunately did not have to start until 4 p.m. Notwithstanding, she was not exactly feeling her best when she left here on her sunny drive mid-afternoon, for she was going to have to do some shopping at Henlong Market on behalf of the restaurant.   

While she was drinking last evening, she posted three photos to her Facebook account at 8:37 p.m. depicting her and her two sons posing with their snowboards:

I suspected what was going on at the time; and if you notice carefully, you can actually see me peering in at them up there beyond the snowboard and the youngest lad wearing the glasses. 

Does that merit a 'photo bomb' label on my part? 

Okay, it is already nearly 6:30 p.m., and I badly want to find and watch a Christmas movie, so I am calling it quits with the blogging for today.

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The 1st Day of Winter Brings Our First Snow This Season

I finished yesterday's post with the declaration that I was going to discharge a promised phone call ─ I did try. I dialed around five different times just ahead of 7 p.m., but always got a busy signal. 

I was sacrificing the opportunity to watch a Christmas movie in order to have myself become engaged in that call, but since the recipient was clearly herself otherwise occupied, I decided to scotch further call attempts and instead enjoy the movie.

My selection was the 2011 feature Dear Santa. (I don't know why, but some websites list the movie as having come out in 2013.)

I am an Amy Acker fan, although her performance in the recurring role of a deadly and merciless villain in the T.V. series Person of Interest almost turned me right off where she was concerned. It was difficult separating the actress from the role ─ the antipathy I felt for the character clouded my appreciation of the actress.

However, towards the end of that series, the character more or less became a member of the core of 'good guys', so I was able to start liking the character ─ and thus once more the actress portraying her.

Dear Santa was a good movie. I intend to re-watch it when my younger brother brings his girlfriend Bev here for a couple of days and nights over the Christmas period ─ he confirmed last evening that she wanted to have a turkey Christmas dinner. Since she lives alone, that can only mean that the feast would have its setting here.

As I watched the movie last evening, I had one can of the strong (8% alcohol) beer that I keep in stock, and then I was into a second can when ─ approximately 55 minutes into the movie ─ I saw my brother arriving home.

He tends to grouse about Christmas movies, and he is especially irksome about it when he is drunk. I had been watching the movie on T.V. through a source I found via our Android TV Box. And so I felt compelled to cancel out of it and vacate the living room entirely.

I came upstairs here to my computer and after some searching using the Yandex search engine, I located a source that allowed me to watch the remainder of the film.

I must applaud actress Gina Holden for her excellent performance in the role as Amy Acker's character's romantic competition for the handsome main male character ─ Gina was thoroughly convincing as a conniving backstabber, although she did seem to be sincere about that leading man she so badly wanted.

Fortunately, it was plain that she would have made a most miserable step-mother for the chap's young daughter, so the viewer did not feel obligated to feel any sympathy for the woman. 

I suppose that I was to bed around or maybe even before 10 p.m., fully intending to get up during the midnight hour to do some work here at my computer after my brother retired for the night. 

Well, I did get up as planned and used the toilet, but I was unusually wanting of further sleep. As a result, I went back to bed, and did sleep some more.

Eventually I was aware that my wife was home, for she came into the bedroom briefly and left the lamp on at her beside. By then it was well past 2 a.m., so I decided to rise and get dressed.

The two cans of beer were probably responsible for how weary I had been earlier, and this has me a little concerned about Christmas. Once Bev is here, it is the only time that my brother is perfectly fine about Christmas movies. We in fact binge on them during the time she is here, and of course we also drink. I seem, however, to be most out of practice.

How am I going to be able to drink beer from the afternoon all the way throughout the entire evening when just two cans seem able to practically disable me? And then there is day two thereafter!

I sure don't have much time before then to acclimatize myself to alcohol, do I?

In the post that I made today in my private blog, I reproduced an old journal entry that I wrote exactly 40 years ago when I was 31 years old. On that day, I had gotten drunk with a large friend. He and I went through five litres of eggnog, and polished off a 40-ounce bottle of dark rum; and then we similarly exhausted a 26er of amber or golden rum. And then when some other people showed up, we were drinking some rye whisky with a couple of them; we might even have had some beer.

Sure, I was plastered, but he and I then hiked over 2½ miles to a 7-Eleven store, and then back to the house. I did not live there, and he insisted that I 'crash' for what remained of the night ─ there were a number of other partiers there as well.

I sat up until only myself and another friend of mine remained, and then I let him know that I was heading on home. Supposedly, I jogged back ─ a distance of something over 2¾ miles.

Obviously all of that eggnog buffered the impact of the gross amount of alcohol I had consumed, but it must still be very apparent that my capacity to contain it was unusually large. After all, it is one thing to be a drunk who just sits and swills away the booze for long periods of time. But it is quite another to do so while also undertaking the sort of activity that I was clearly capable of. Who would have it in them to face a hike home as far as I undertook so deep into the early a.m. that night? I think most people would have just faded out and crashed right there for the night.

And now here I am, almost wiped out by two cans of strong (8% alcohol) beer?

But I have digressed considerably.

After I was up last night, I remained up until maybe 5 a.m. or later before returning to bed. I believe that I managed to remain in bede until just about 9 a.m. ─ my brother was not yet up, and probably was not for perhaps another half hour or more.

I had a couple of videos I wanted to watch with him at 10 a.m., which is approximately when he finally found his way downstairs. Using our Android TV Box so that we could watch them on T.V., I first tuned in (via Bitchute.com) the Dr. Joseph Mercola video of nearly an hour's duration titled The Link Between Fear Appeal and COVID-19 Perception- Interview With Dr. Peter Breggin. 

Maybe 15 minutes into the programme, my brother pointed out that it seemed to be sleeting outside. Then that soon enough turned into pure snow ─ the first I have seen at this end of the year. What I did not realize at the time was that today was actually the first day of Winter!

The snow lasted until we had perhaps a little over an inch, and then it turned into rain. 

Anyway, once we had watched the Dr. Peter Breggin interview, I tuned in (via YouTube) the Ron Paul feature Major New Study: No Evidence Masks Work. This video was just over a half hour in duration.

And then we followed those up with some regular series T.V.

My wife did not have to work today, and was up from bed right around the time that my brother was. 

As I type these words at 4:50 p.m., she has been out on errands at least twice thus far, and is presently busy cooking supper. My brother left much earlier in the afternoon, as is his wont ─ drinking to do!

I think that he is now the only member of this household yet to apply for the BC Recovery Benefit. It will be worth $500 to him to get it done.

My wife had me apply for us this afternoon. As a couple, we will qualify for $1,000, so I will split it with her once it is directly deposited into our chequing account. Supposedly, this might happen within a week, but "seeing is believing".

I am going to bring this post to a close ─ not much else is likely to occur that cannot await mention until tomorrow. 

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💀☠💀☠💀☠ My Thoughts on Ocean Weisblatt's Arrest

My younger brother spent last night at the home of his girlfriend Bev, so for the first time thus far this season our Christmas lights remained on from the time I lit them up in the early evening until I finally turned them off just after 6 a.m. this morning.

He always turns them off when he retires for the night at midnight or into that hour.

I had retired very soon after 10 p.m., but after some sleep I was up once more ─ probably in the midnight hour. As usual, I had work I wanted to get done here at my computer.

However, I also had early morning shopping plans ─ the 5.625-mile round trip hike to the nearest Real Canadian Superstore outlet (Google Map) that opens at 7 a.m. Since I would need to leave as soon after 6 a.m. as possible in order to arrive there before the crowds, I was going to need to accrue a little further sleep.

That said, I didn't feel particularly sleep deprived, but I knew that by 6 a.m. I would unlikely be desirous of shoving off on such an enterprise without resting up. And so just ahead of 4 a.m. I was back in bed, my cellphone alarm set for 5:30 a.m.

When the alarm sounded, I initially felt some resistance at getting up, but I almost immediately recognized that I needed a cup of hot black instant coffee, and that it would take some time to both drink it and ready myself for the venture.

It hadn't rained overnight, but the street outside was still wet from yesterday's ambitious precipitation.

By the time I had the Christmas lights all turned off and I was standing outside the locked front door all set to get on my way, it was 6:09 a.m. And by walking at a reasonably leisure pace, I arrived at the store about an hour later.

I acquired my purchases as best as I could remember them, and had just gotten outside the store onto the public sidewalk when it dawned upon me that I had forgotten to get two of the tall (454-gramme) tins of Nescafé RICH instant coffee that was one of the four main items I had gone to the store to buy.

They were on sale for $10.78 apiece. By comparison, Save-On-Foods charges over $15 a tin, as I recall. Most fortunately, I had just opened a new tin yesterday, and I still have three others in stock, so there is no chance we will be running out of coffee before I am ever back at the Superstore again. Nevertheless, I was still angry with myself.

Incidentally, it was still as dark as it was when I had first arrived at the store ─ I love it like this!

But as usual, by the time I was about a half mile from home, my 'lift' had gone. I was practically stumbling my way, quite footsore and worn right out. I was, after all, bearing a considerable load in two tote bags, one of each gripped in either of my hands with never a chance of relief without stopping to set down the burdens ─ something I disdain to do out of prideful determination.

I may be 71 years old, but I am not yet a total physical cipher.

It may have been around 8:20 a.m. by the time I was back into the house. Neither of my stepsons had yet risen, and my brother was not to show up for about another hour.

I had intended to involve myself in some more work here at my computer, but I fast declined and felt too lazy. But instead of engaging anything sensible, I succumbed to my endorphin addiction.

I was so profoundly weary thereafter that when I returned to bed around 10:30 a.m., I didn't even have the energy to wallow in self-castigation. Of course, my brother had been home some while by this time, and was watching T.V.

I was to remain abed for around 2¾ hours. I rose expecting to find my brother shut up in his own bedroom, but he was still downstairs watching T.V. It is entirely possible that he had taken a short rest while I was recuperating with needed sleep, but I cannot confidently suggest it.

And then fairly early into the afternoon, he announced his afternoon farewell as he headed off to probably watch NFL games in a bar or pub with his fellow drinkers.

The self-directed grief over my earlier conduct was quite strong now that I was again restored and thus feeling more myself. However, that discussion is far too involved, so I shall say nothing more concerning it.

My evening is upon me, but I want to voice how utterly disgusted I am with two female Calgary police officers who shrieked and cursed and several times kneed a young man (22 years old at most) named Ocean Weisblatt who resisted their hysterical demands to prostate himself before them after they accosted him for being out skating at an outdoor rink with some friends, playing hockey. None of the lads were wearing face masks ─ thus their evil crime.

I don't know for certain, but this may have taken place on December 17. 

As I said, the lunatic witches even kneed him a number of times as they cursed and threatened him while they struggled to down the poor guy, all while a male officer docilely looked on as his two female colleagues made absolute fools of themselves. (I suspect that inwardly he was likely bemused at their overboard antics.)

You can see both a video interview with the young man ─ as well as cellphone footage one of his companions took of the confrontation ─ at this RebelNews.com article: PUNISHED for PLAYING HOCKEY: Calgary police threaten to TASER young skater at outdoor rink. I fully recommend watching the actual incident first before watching the interview ─ the cellphone video is below the main one featuring the interview.

Those two dense female officers should be removed from the police force ─ they are a disgrace. All they displayed was arrogance at the gall of a young man being defiant because they could not identify precisely what the law was that they were supposedly enforcing.

They were out there blindly 'upholding' some perceived law just because they felt they had been told to ("I was only following orders.") ─ in other words, where they were concerned, there was no independent thinking required nor involved. 

Just. Following. Orders. (Or what they perceived were their orders.)

So realizing their inability to cogently present their case in a just fashion, they shrieked and swore and used as much violence as they dared just because they were the police, and because the two challenged losers knew he dared not fight them back ─ especially when they had a large male presence to back them up.

They were ignorant, bullying cowards. And as I said, they disgusted me.

Anyway, I have a short session of exercise I want to get finished, and then I think I will discharge an obligation I made concerning a promised pre-Christmas phone call.

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