I think that I'm just too diseased within to continue with this pointless life that God evidently has no intention of freeing me from. And it's too late for me to ever fight my way out of this ─ I've grown too old and enfeebled.
How odd that it is my strong notion of familial responsibility that keeps me hanging on. However, that alone is not all-sufficient, and is certainly not sustaining of itself.
I feel as if my finish is now on the horizon. I'm just too weak to go on all by myself. I live in a household of five, yet I am profoundly alone.
I lost my day. Or at least my afternoon.
As soon as my wife left here around 2:45 p.m. to catch a bus and begin her long commute to work, I set in motion those "feet that be swift in running to mischief". It is ever the same.
I don't wish to blog any further today. Better I become drunk.
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