With Love

As I was readying to leave last evening on the 1½-mile or so round trip hike to withdraw money and do some grocery shopping at the nearest Save-On-Foods, my wife was also readying to go somewhere and offered to drive me. However, I was of course testing my left foot's plantar fasciitis (or else a deeply and extensively bruised heel area), so the walk was important.

No one else was home, so the house had to be locked up.

I got back to find no one home yet, so I was able to get settled in and have possession of the T.V. by the time my younger brother eventually bused home following his daily social drinking.

My wife was to later return around 11:10 p.m. If I am remembering aright, I had left home to shop maybe around 7:50 p.m., so she likely was gone by 8 p.m.

Anyway, my brother and I put away a fair amount of T.V., thanks to our Android TV Box. I'll be honest here and say that I was to drink four cans of Cariboo Malt (7.9% alcohol) and then possibly two shots of Captain Morgan Dark Rum (40% alcohol), so recollection is now reduced.

I will just list the shows as we were to watch them:

• Riverdale ─ episode five ("Chapter Eighty-One: The Homecoming") of season five.

• The Outpost ─ the premiere episode ("For the Sins of Your Ancestors") of season three. (Is Janzo going to develop a romantic involvement with the equally scientifically-curious 'black-blood' character Wren, newly introduced in this episode? I have officially begun waiting for the sparks of romantic interest.)

• Glitch ─ the finale episode six ("The Letter") of season two.

• Wanted ─ episode three ("Snakeskin") of season three.

My brother retired to his bedroom for the night after Wanted, but I hooked myself on random 1960s 'live' YouTube music videos via the SmartTube app ─ this was when I got into the rum.

I do not recall my bedtime, but I made a final Facebook post at 3:38 a.m., yet my first one this morning was at 8:24 a.m., so I did not benefit from a great deal of sleep.

I was to gain possession of the T.V. barely past 9 a.m. and just ahead of my brother's emergence from his bedroom, so I was all set to begin operating our Android TV Box again, leading off with this peculiar 48-second video published December 5 to BitChute's Scotty Bampot channel: When NASA showed us the........'Stars from Space' 😂🤣😂.

If that clip is genuine and was purportedly what NASA once provided as a glimpse of space from a satellite ─ manned or unmanned ─ the effect was just about identical to some really old science fiction movie when special effects were not even in their infancy, and things like rockets or spaceships were just models suspended from string.

Next I played four videos (three were exceptional short) published just today at BitChute's TheSearch4Truth channel. I'm not going to mention any of them specifically because I wasn't impressed by them.

Then it was over to a 32-minute (32:20) video published earlier today at Rumble's The Official Corbett Report Rumble channel: What's the Story of WTC 1993? - Questions For Corbett.

SHOW NOTES AND COMMENTS: https://corbettreport.com/qfc-wtc93/

TheThrone writes in to ask Santa for a deep dive on the story of the 1993 World Trade Center Bombing for Christmas. Well, I don't know about Santa, but I'm here with a deep dive on what really happened at WTC 1993 . . . and a five-and-a-half-hour documentary on the complete story of Al Qaeda to boot! Enjoy!

I followed that with Barry ─ the series finale episode eight ("wow") of season four. I don't know what the heck is wrong with my brother's brain, but he knew this was the series finale episode, yet during the crucial scene were Barry is finally killed, he had first gotten up and went into the kitchen to down several nutritional tablets, and then he went upstairs for a short time, missing the whole sequence.

And he didn't even have the curiosity to ask about why the show had  progressed into the future and featured Sally and her now-teen son ─ I don't think he even realized that it was a future scene. I seem to have to explain details of shows to him just like we always had to do for our mother back when we were young. His daily drunkenness has undoubtedly damaged his brain, and is behind why his hands tremble so direly.

Whatever the case, he asked nothing, so I offered nothing.

We finished our viewing with a couple of YouTube's old Talasbuan episodes:

• Off Grid Life | Cats, Dogs and Colors of Autumn (September 30, 2019) 24:55

Episode forty-seven, in which we're preparing for winter

• Off Grid Life | The sheep are getting a new house before us :) (October 22, 2019) 20:30

Episode forty-eight, in which we're butchering some rabbits and started building the new sheep house

With the final video done, my brother went up to his bedroom for a bit of bed rest. I then had a meal, but before I sought a nap, my brother came forth and was set to head out in his van on one or more errands. Just as he was readying to leave, my wife finally sallied forth from her bedroom and went downstairs, possibly getting a fright from my brother dressing up just inside the front door.

I chose then to shut myself up into my bedroom and have my needed nap. It was to carry me well past 3:30 p.m., to my surprise ─ by then my wife had long gone to attend her scheduled latter afternoon start at the Thai restaurant where she is employed part time. My brother had also apparently returned from his outing and left to catch a bus to again go drinking.

I was feeling considerable anxiety after the morning's T.V. with my brother ─ I was strongly feeling the need for a Hallmark-style Christmas movie to do some drinking to. And that has not changed, alone as I feel. It is a profound insecurity, and I cannot cope. Too much of it relates to alcohol withdrawal, and there is only one immediate fix for that.

So despite this being a bath day, early in the evening I tuned in the 2017 Christmas movie With Love, Christmas. I did so here on my bedside computer, and settled upon this flawless link at YoMovies.express.

The movie was slow to gather me emotionally, but it was involving from an early start. I of course well knew lead actress Emelie Ullerup from her role in Chesapeake Shores, which I followed from its first episode. I even recognized ─ but cannot name ─ the lead male actor, but he was familiar as a positive presence in at least one previous Christmas movie I have watched, so I expected the same, and the guy delivered ─ wholesale!

I loved the movie, even though it did not emotionally degenerate me into a sobbing mess.

Emilie is truly a beautiful woman, constructed on an anatomical scale that is both realistic and natural ─ she is not some idealistic and unattainable physical model. Her slight physical flaws are actually endearing to me, but I will not be delving into that.

It was an excellent movie, even if it did not deliver on the devastating emotional level I had sought. It still deeply caught me up and utterly involved me, thanks to both actors ─ my hat is off to Emilie, for handsome actor Aaron O'Connell is younger than her by over two years, I believe.

Despite it not wholly reducing me emotionally, I would happily watch this movie again at Christmastime with anyone. Heck, I drank not only three cans of Cariboo Malt, but also a shot of Captain Morgan rum.

It did serve to minimize my diminishment, but if didn't quite erase it. I wanted more. Regardless, I will not cater, and will be retiring relatively early this evening.

This was supposed to have been a bath day, but I surrendered it in favour of the needed movie and drinks.

My brother arrived home fairly soon after 9 p.m. ─ maybe closer to 9:15 p.m., so I shut myself up into my bedroom. There is no early long walk planned due to my bad left foot, but I do still intend to retire reasonably early. Maybe I will rise around 5 a.m. or so for some exercise out in the backyard tool shed by around 7:30 a.m. if there is sufficient early daylight by then.

My wife was to arrive barely ahead of 10 p.m.

I have had no communication with either, and will be anon getting to bed. My insecurities ─ all of financial origin in one degree or another ─ are beyond correction with any simple-minded 'positive thinking' or 'mindfulness'.

It is 10:14 p.m.