Yesterday I was wrong when I wrote here that my younger brother had gone off afoot in the afternoon and was probably going to be drinking somewhere, opening up the good chance for me to get to bed early that evening.
After I published the post, I noticed that his van was gone. Since he only recently got his driver's licence back after a three-month suspension for intoxication, he is not yet bold or risky enough to try to drink and drive.
He was back home late in the afternoon, and had the T.V. on once again. A computer is alien technology to him, so all he can ever do at home to pass the time is to watch T.V.
I was also wrong in thinking that my wife was going to show up from wherever it is in Vancouver that she spends most of her free time (such is my sorry marriage).
It was thus 1:15 a.m. before I was in bed last night after perforce sitting up late to operate our T9 Android 8.1 TV Box to find episodes of some of the T.V. series that my brother and I follow ─ the Android TV Box is another device he is unable to put in use, and we only have basic cable for television programming.
However, I had no intention of being drawn in too early by my indolent brother that late afternoon and early evening to sit on my behind doing nothing but watch T.V. Instead, I took an early evening nap.
I had gotten drawn in on Monday to watching T.V. in the latter afternoon, and was to spend the next bloody eight or more hours serving as my brother's companion at the T.V. As far as I am concerned, 8:00 p.m. is plenty early for that occupation.
I was to rise this morning around 6:40 a.m. to begin the foundation of a new post at one of my six hosted websites. My brother never emerged from his bedroom until after 9:00 a.m., but that allowed me to get a scheduled backyard shed exercising session out of the way earlier in the morning once some black instant coffee had helped normalize me.
The day was to be a mix of Sun and cloud. Perhaps the Sun prevailed in the midday and afternoon mix.
I never went downstairs to join my brother at the T.V. until at least 10:15 a.m. because he was seated in the living room talking to someone on the phone and not involved too much in the T.V. ─ he had on a news channel.
With my exercise out of the way, I had my day's first meal exceptionally early, for the plan was to get in an early nap. Usually, my brother seeks one late in the noon hour or soon after 1:00 p.m. to revitalize himself for an afternoon outing.
My big hope was to be back in bed during the noon hour.
Well, I operated our Android TV Box until 1:30 p.m., and my brother called for me to tune in yet another episode of one of our shows ─ these episodes are over 50 minutes in duration, and of course commercial-free.
Inwardly I felt outrage at him. He had already robbed me of a noon hour nap, and now because he had nothing better to do with his time, he just wanted to sit and keep watching more T.V. and expected me to do the same?
I was having none of it. I told him to watch something on Netflix (which he can access on T.V. with my youngest stepson's account login details) ─ I needed a nap, and was not putting it off any longer. I still had two blog posts to contend with; and I would most probably still have to spend hours in the evening with my brother watching even more T.V.
Enough was enough!
Having him home due to the bars being shut down as a result of the COVID-19 nonsense is utterly confining for me. Unlike him, I do not drive and so cannot get away to some unpopulated park in the afternoon to have some daytime exercise. My only hope for any walking is to get out in the early a.m. hours ahead of the break of day, for I detest being out during the busy daylight hours.
I am a prisoner of my environment, and basically under house arrest.
So I cannot help but feel most resentful that my brother's inability to do aught when he is home but watch T.V. and ─ in the late afternoon and throughout the evening ─ drink beer is an impediment to my best intentions that is beyond my ability to properly convey.
I constantly feel as if I am at the mercy of everyone else in this household ─ I cannot maintain a schedule of my own.
It becomes exasperating to the point of inciting a rage within me at God for not delivering me from this situation. I am 70 years of age, and I cannot continue like this without hope of that deliverance before too very long, or else it is going to be too late for me ─ I will be unable to become the active, fit, and muscular man that I know I could yet be if only I had the tools and privacy to pursue that end.
The essential physical reserves within me will have been depleted by excessive age if this continues on unremittingly for years yet.
I need out of this pointless existence soon. This is an emergency.
As long as I am buried with the debt that I have allowed my wife to plunge us into, I am hopelessly trapped within this house, and my stress-ridden environment that keeps me shut up here at home.
Well, I see the trend that this post has now taken.
Since I am doing myself no favour by continuing with it, I am going to bring the post to a close.
However, I want to mention that before last evening's early nap, I had phoned Sandy ─ the longtime ladyfriend of my old friend William Alan Gill, who has been confined to bed for the past few years in a full-time care facility over on Vancouver Island.
Sandy is my only means of learning aught of Bill, for he is physically unable now to place telephone calls or write letters. Sandy ─ who lives in an apartment in Vancouver ─ will endure the public transit commute to go and visit Bill a few times a year. She is known at the facility, and can phone them and through one of the staff have telephone conversations with Bill.
She had intended to visit him in earliest April ahead of his 74th birthday on April 11, but now with the COVID-19 scare, she dares not do so and put his poor health at risk.
In fact, I wonder if even the surgery she said that he was scheduled to have next month is even possible. According to her, he has a tumour approximately the size of a prune plum on the back of his neck that they want to remove.
If you are unsure of the plum I am referring to, I believe that she intends this one:
My old friend has been hanging on in the poorest health since his mid-60s ─ how he is yet alive today, I just cannot understand.
Alas, although I have known Bill since at least as far back as 1962 (I would say), I have not seen the dear fellow since the latter 1990s before he foolishly moved from around here (Surrey) back to Vancouver Island where he still had some relatives.
I am unable to afford to travel over to the Island and stay overnight somewhere, even if I did not mind the dreadfully long public commute ─ which I do. And so I fully expect never to see nor even likely speak with my old friend ever again in this lifetime.
Anyway, my early afternoon nap was quite short, so I expect that I will be having another ere too very long since I expect that I am going to have to be sitting up late in front of the T.V. with my brother yet again.
Anyway, my early afternoon nap was quite short, so I expect that I will be having another ere too very long since I expect that I am going to have to be sitting up late in front of the T.V. with my brother yet again.
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