It is 9:09 a.m. as I get a start on this post.
I still feel a sinking hopelessness because of my out-of-control wife who will not stop plunging us deeper and deeper into debt, and expects me to keep her latest blundering $1,500 waste at a casino from her two sons.
She knows that they will condemn her, for she is supposed to have signed a self-exclusion contract to keep her from gambling. But apparently two nights ago, she withdrew that money from our chequing account ─ it was most my monthly pension, in fact ─ and blew it all.
She did not get home until well into the a.m. yesterday after working Monday at the Thai restaurant that employs her, and then she spent the day until nearly 5:00 p.m. in our bedroom recovering from her partying.
She then rose for a quick shower, and took off, only then alerting me to what she had done. In doing so, she promised that today she would replace the money ─ I suppose that she must mean that she will be getting paid.
I thought that she was only going off to do some grocery shopping, but she has not returned as yet, nor has she texted or phoned me.
But this is her wayward way ─ it is nothing unusual (such is my sorry marriage).
I was so distraught at her, myself, and an uncaring God that around 7:12 p.m. last evening I set off on a walk to the elementary school possibly a half mile from here at most, just to have the walk and to perform four sets of pull-ups at the school's gymnastics-style rings in its playground.
Then I returned home and had a fairly light supper while intending to watch the final episode of Philip K. Dick's Electric Dreams, but apparently I had already watched the final episode the day before. So I tuned in a pretty good episode of the revamped Magnum P.I. ─ I absolutely adore actress Perdita Weeks. I wish I knew the lovely lass.
When I finished with T.V., I had come upstairs here to my computer and was just about to do something prior to getting to bed in order to avoid my expectedly very drunk younger brother, when I heard him entering the house.
At that, I rushed myself into the bathroom and then to bed. He was to have hooked up with drinking buddies at 1:30 p.m. that afternoon, so I could not see any possibility that he would not be blasted and an utter waste of my time to attempt to watch T.V. with.
However, it was possibly as early as 8:50 p.m. ─ I was not to find any sleep for a long, long time. And when some did arrive and then fled me, I checked the time and thought the clock radio read something like 1:30 a.m. ─ if so, then I wanted to rise and put some work into the post I am so slowly building at one of my six hosted websites.
I rose to dress, but it seemed that I could hear the T.V. still on downstairs. So I quietly opened my bedroom door and peeked downstairs ─ my brother was still seated in his favourite chair in the living room watching T.V.
This was most unusual for him to still be up ─ he usually retires early into the midnight hour. Had he passed out and revived, and now had a 'second wind'?
Then upon focussing my very bad eyes back upon the clock radio, I realized that it was only 11:30 p.m.─ not 1:30 a.m.
So back to bed.
A little more sleep was to come; and then when I checked the time around 1:12 a.m., that was when I rose to work on the website post even though I was feeling a deep deficit where adequate sleep was concerned.
I got done what I wanted to get done, and was back once again to bed ahead of 4:00 a.m.
Nevertheless, I still had trouble sleeping. By 7:00 a.m. I could have risen, but it seemed sheerest folly. So I stalled until just after 8:00 a.m.
And here we are. My eyes are burning a little, but at 10:00 a.m. I will join my brother where he is now downstairs already watching T.V., and I will use our T9 Android 8.1 TV Box to locate episodes of a few of the T.V. series we follow ─ he has no expertise with the device, so the role is mine alone.
We'll probably watch our shows until at least 1:00 p.m., then he will probably seek some bed rest to prepare himself for another afternoon foray to commence drinking all over again.
It seems to be a fairly sunny day, but I will be returning to bed soon after my brother does this very early afternoon.
oooooooooooooo
It has been quite a sunny day indeed.
I achieved a very small nap in the early afternoon.
Then while I was putting more work into that website post after mid-afternoon, my wife phoned me at 4:00 p.m.
Evidently she does not have the money yet to replace into our chequing account, and I haven't checked it to see if possibly she damaged it even more last night,
She sounded very downcast, but it might have been more due to sleeping in late just as she did yesterday (she didn't emerge from our bedroom yesterday until at least 4:45 p.m.) ─ but I am conjecturing on that, for she never said that she had just risen.
She asked for a few more days, and again pleaded that I not tell her two sons what she has done.
She also said that she is looking for another job ─ I hope that it's because she realizes that her friends are such an awful influence on her. She can never tell any of them that she ought not to party nor especially go out clubbing ─ we can't afford it. But saving face is so all-important to her where her friends are concerned.
She also said something about study or studying, but I am unsure if she was speaking of taking a course of some sort or not.
Where replacing the money she has squandered is concerned, I warned her that she is NOT to be doing so on credit! We are so damned deep into credit debt due to her extravagances that I will die in debt, for God shows no inclination to lend a hand.
She proclaimed that she was done with credit ─ even if she was able to qualify for any, which she didn't think she was.
But that's a lot for her to declare, by my reckoning.
Anyway, she said that she wouldn't be home again until after work tomorrow, so I have no idea what's going on with her.
I sometimes wonder what her two sons know of her doings? Surely she must at least be in texting contact with them.
Right now it is 6:00 p.m., and I have just finished some exercising. Since I know that my wife will not be coming home this evening or tonight, then quite possibly I may have an easier time of falling asleep whenever it is that I go to bed.
When I rose from my early afternoon nap, I was home alone. My brother had already left to do whatever it is that he does.
If he's not home comfortably before 9:00 p.m., then I will again avoid society with him and betake myself to bed early and hope for the best where sleep is involved.
Really, there is nothing further that I feel inclined to say.
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