My younger brother was not home until 9 p.m. last evening from wherever he had been drinking, so I was into bed by 9:05 p.m. in my avoidance of him. His unspoken deadline to arrive home is 8:30 p.m. When he is later than that, I wash my hands of him and will not be drawn into a late evening of Android TV Box-based television-viewing (I am the sole operator of the device).
Initially when I heard him come into the house as I sat here upstairs at my computer, I thought that perhaps his girlfriend Bev was with him, for he seemed to say something in a low tone.
Evidently he was just drunk, and muttering to himself.
I managed some sleep, but by 11:44 p.m. I was no longer able. I lay another half hour or so until it was apparent that I was wasting time, so I rose to eventually get to work on the website post that may well be taking me the longest I have ever spent upon such a post, even though I have not missed adding content into it in perhaps a month at very least.
I think that my brother had actually gone to bed well ahead of midnight.
Anyway, I originally had some vague hope of getting away early in the a.m. to at least have a good walk (if not to actually do some grocery shopping), but this venture was in serious jeopardy without proper sleep.
I was not to make my return to bed until at least 4 a.m., but sleep was scarcely won thereafter, and it was all I could manage to remain abed until 8 a.m. That was less than an hour ago as I type these words, and my eyes are still burning from inadequate sleep as I work my way toward the end of a cup of black instant coffee.
My younger brother is already up and reading the Saturday morning edition of the Vancouver Sun that I subscribe to for his sake. The morning sky is heavy with dark cloud; we had considerable rain late last afternoon and through much of that evening.
I will be going nowhere ─ I cannot brave the public without sufficient sleep. If I lived somewhere in which I could get outside free of public scrutiny and have nothing around me but the natural world, I would already be out there actively engaging with it.
But I am a prisoner of my environment, surrounded by miles and miles of homes, buildings, busy streets, and of course people ─ my personal bugbear since I was a teen back in the latter 1960s when I first identified that I had this social aversion that was so strong that I might spend days inside because I was unable to face the world.
I would only go forth after dark when I felt more anonymous. But back then, my world was a quieter place. There is no longer any refuge to be found out there after dark anymore, except maybe in the few hours well beyond midnight and before the arrival of daybreak.
Unfortunately for me, those hours are basically the only time I have in which I can work on my six hosted websites. If I lived alone, it would be different.
But I do not live alone. My life is not my own to live. I must live it mostly at the convenience of the four others I share accommodation with.
I can largely blame my present ill-slept state on my supper of last evening. I found myself exceptionally hungry; and as a result, I ate overmuch of filler after having an exceptionally light nutritious repast.
The filler was naught but cooked white rice into which I mixed a couple massive tablespoonfuls of salted natural smooth peanut butter ─ the peanut butter practically became a massive peanut butter ball as it enveloped the entirety of the spoon the both times that I immersed it into the container.
I realized my mistake thereafter as I soon became overfull and lost my initial appetite for the rice / peanut butter filler, but I forged on to finish it regardless.
After falling asleep, my body would find itself requiring many times more water than I would normally have required, for a state of dehydration set in that was to impair my sleep. Even this morning, I have had need to quaff water to an unusual degree.
In essence, I sabotaged my own sleep, for I know that this is a problem for me where a good night's sleep is concerned ─ that is, excessive suppers, especially when an excess quantity of salt is involved. Peanut butter has always been a staple in my life due to sparse economics throughout, so the threat to my sleep that excess amounts of it can have for me when taken in the evening is something I learned about years and years ago, but I still sometimes commit the error of going heavy on the ingestion of this foodstuff.
And so here I am, my own victim.
I do not take in any calories until at least 10 a.m. each day ─ that is when I will have my day's first delicious hot caffeinated beverage. I usually have but two of these each day. The first one can easily sustain me until well into the afternoon, and thus it is typical that I only need to have two actual meals per day.
Apparently my first meal yesterday was too early and too light. By my 8 p.m. suppertime, I was over-hungry and paid the price for it with a botched night's sleep.
I have only had the cup of instant black coffee. The plan is to return to bed before 10 a.m. to seek a nap, and thereby prolong that time in which I would have my day's first hot caffeinated beverage.
I have described that sumptuous brew many times in the past in my blogs.
First ─ into a large ceramic drinking mug ─ I stir into the consistency of a very liquid 'mud' a thorough mix of instant coffee and cocoa powder, heavy liquid whipping cream, and some demerara brown sugar, honey, and blackstrap molasses.
I ensure that the cocoa powder is wholly incorporated and will not clump or separate from the described muddy blend.
Note that I use as heaping a teaspoon of instant coffee as I can scoop, but only a fifth or so of a teaspoon of cocoa powder ─ the cocoa powder is unsweetened and very strong.
Then after using all ingredients to achieve the described well-mixed consistency of liquid mud, I fill the mug with boiling water.
As I said, it is a delicious and bracing means to sustain me until I eventually have my first actual meal, and I very much look forward to breaking my fast with that first hot caffeinated drink each and every day.
But this morning, I am going to seek a nap before I enjoy my day's first such drink. I just hope that the cup of plain instant coffee has not separated me too far from the reach of some more sleep.
oooooooooooooo
And a good nap was had.
In fact, if it was then the earliest a.m. when I roused from it (and not the approach of 11:30 a.m.), I felt so hale as to have been able to foray forth into the world.
Supplementing that positive frame of mind was the discovery that it was raining rather heartily outside, and all was well soaked.
But of course, I went nowhere. Instead, I sat here at my computer and worked at a post in my private blog.
My brother was having his own bed rest when I rose from mine. And late in the noon hour he emerged to go downstairs and watch some T.V. It sounded like he had on something sports-related ─ perhaps hockey.
Possibly it was around 2 p.m. when he began readying himself to head away for the afternoon, but he communicated nothing to me. It sufficed for him at the time that he had engaged one of my two stepsons in the conveying of such apprisal as a response to said lad's query of my brother's intent.
The afternoon became marvellously sunny. Had I naught else to do, I could have sunned out in the backyard. However, I was again declining ─ no doubt, my wretchedly poor vision was muchly at fault, for my eyes strain so readily in recent years.
And so early into the latter half of the afternoon, I again sought a nap upon having my day's first small meal.
The nap was not to prove as long as my morning version, but it was still restorative.
And here I sit at 5:21 p.m.
I shall not this evening befoul my systems with a senselessly overburdening supper ─ that I here do declare.
I have yet to engage the day's allotted session of exercising; and I would thereafter to have myself a bath, for I have not had one since this past Tuesday.
If all proceeds accordingly, I may be able to enjoy some good television (through the workings of our Android TV Box, of course). That being the case, I might well indulge in a can ─ possibly even two ─ of beer.
Last Saturday, my brother was inexplicably home early ─ not too very much after 8 p.m. It had been my hope until then that he would spend the night at the home of his girlfriend Bev, for he quite often will at the completion of his Saturday.
Thus, I have no notion of what will befall this e'en.
But I am wasting time with this pointless musing ─ my exercise awaits, and the afternoon is fast drawing to a full closure. Perhaps the morrow will find me with more of note to report than has been the case today.
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