The Shame

There was to be no exercising this early a.m. at the elementary school playground maybe three blocks from here. Instead, I sat up last night dallying iniquitously and never got to bed until around 1:30 a.m., if not later.

I was heartsick with myself, even though I did finally resist ─ but I was so damned close. My previous fall was December 28, so this would have been a monstrous setback; yet it is hardly a victory.

My day has been subdued as a result.

Lord, I am weak.

At least I did sleep rather well, probably achieving seven hours in bed, if not more ─ almost unheard of for me any longer.

I was to find that my younger brother was already downstairs, but I remained here at my bedside computer until he finally began watching T.V. around 9:10 a.m. once he had finished going through the Saturday edition of the Vancouver Sun that I subscribe to.

My dear wife evidently had a full workday scheduled, for she rose just ahead of 9:30 a.m. to begin readying, and soon after 10 a.m. left us on her rather long drive.

At my brother's invitation to put our Android TV Box to work, I tuned in two videos recently posted to Dr. William Makis's Substack, the first video of which had been published earlier today and was almost half an hour (27:51): NEW PODCAST! "15 minutes with Dr.Makis" - Episode 030: World Council for Health Florida - Detox and Wellbeing Fair - Repurposed Drugs: Ivermectin, Fenbendazole...

The second Dr. Makis video was 22 minutes, and had been published January 15: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW - Maria Zee on Vigilant Fox News - Ivermectin and Fenbendazole for Cancer Treatment (Jan.2025).

The third video I selected was truly bizarre, and was a compilation of three (late December into early January) sample shows featuring Benjamin Fulford, who is unknown to me. At 38 minutes (38:35), the video had been published early today at BitChute's NEM271 channel: BENJAMIN FULFORD'S URGENT MESSAGE: WHO WILL BE EXECUTED AT GITMO?

As I recall, Gitmo was not even mentioned. How does stuff like this get a regular audience?

We finished our viewing with a nearly hour-long (58:57) documentary published July 19, 2019, to BitChute's Adaneth channel: Building the Ancient City | Athens (Episode 1).

A 2015 BBC History Documentary hosted by Wallace Hadrill.

The first city of a million was built two thousand years ago. But how did they make Ancient Athens and Rome work without petrol, gas or electricity? Professor Wallace-Hadrill finds out.

In the first episode, Professor Andrew Wallace-Hadrill takes us on a journey across stunning locations in Greece and Italy to find out how Athens gave birth to the idea of a city run by free citizens 2,500 years ago. Every aspect of daily life from defence to waste disposal was controlled not by a king, but by the Athenians themselves. Ultimately, this radical new system would define a way of life and the Athenians would give it a name. They called it people power, demo-kratia or democracy. On our journey we meet the people who still see ancient Athens as the model for running the great cities of today, including perhaps the ancient capital's greatest champion in our modern one - Boris Johnson. We discover how the Greeks created the first system of open government, and wrote the first constitution that laid down the rights of Athenian citizens nearly 2,000 years before our Magna Carta. Its creator was born in the 7th century BC.

It's conclusion spelled the arrival of some bed rest for my brother this rather sunny and chilly day.

This is my Sabbath fast, so a meal did not keep me from my nap. Yet somehow I delayed it until my brother had again come forth from his bedroom to ready himself and leave to catch a bus and begin his daily social drinking.

A huge part of that delay from my nap was the bath I had ─ I had forgone having it yesterday. There was no longer any excuse, for my eldest stepson was at work and his younger brother had yet to rise.

I have to admit that the bath did allow me to feel better about my wayward self.

Due to when I did have my nap, it was just after 3:30 p.m. when I rose. I had nursed the fantasy last night that I would have some exercising today out in the backyard tool shed, but my fast and caffeine abstention has found me far too enfeebled.

Late into the afternoon as the daylight disappeared, I had myself a naked weigh-in, slightly concerned that my walking inactivity was going to be penalized. Happily, things were fine ─ I weighed 176/177 pounds.

I considered some T.V. in the early evening ─ earlier, I had even wondered on a Christmas movie and some drinking. But when I was set to maybe go downstairs and watch something, it was nearly 7:30 p.m. That is too late ─ I can never know when my brother might show up early.

My meal was to prove rather filling. Drinking lost its appeal even if I did have time for that Christmas movie. I even lost interest in a strong instant coffee with the works. It might well have helped remove some of the brain fog that is a feature of my Sabbath fast, but it would also likely impair my sleep.

I plan some early a.m. grocery shopping, and am of a mind to attempt the 5.625-mile round trip hike to Real Canadian Superstore, even though my left foot's plantar fasciitis (or whatever the heck is wrong with it) has been noticeably sensitive at times today.

We shall see. If I do opt for that venture, I will want to rise at 4 a.m. to have plenty of time to reconcile myself for the journey, trying to leave here by around 6 a.m. Thus, I shall need to make my decision before my bedtime so that I know whether to set my alarm for that time, or instead choose to shop locally and thus rise around 5 a.m.

Right now it is 8:29 p.m., so I am going to close this post and be prepared to shut myself into my bedroom upon becoming aware of my brother's homecoming.