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Who am I?

I am an obscure great-great-grandson of Oscar Adolphe Barcelo & Eugenie Beaudry of Montréal.

And I am an equally obscure great-grandson of George Henry Leandre Barcelo & Sarah Anne Bird of Winnipeg (Manitoba) and Langdon (North Dakota).

Thursday, 2 October 2025

😈Insufficient Inhibition👹

Depravity possessed me last evening following publication of that day's blog post, and I honestly have no idea when in the early a.m. it was that I finally put myself brokenly to bed.

We had so much rain overnight! 

There was to be no early backyard tool shed exercising. I had no heart for it, even if I probably could have squeezed in the time before my younger brother emerged from his bedroom just past 9 a.m.

I don't know what to do about this vile weakness that keeps kicking in every week or so. I need far improved living conditions to stand fast in this struggle instead of so easily buckling as is the present case.

My wife never came home last night, by the way ─ the third consecutive night. 

My brother and I were to watch just two videos on T.V. this latter morning via our Android TV Box, both of them very related.

First was a short eight-minute (8:27) video published yesterday to Rumble's The Medical Rebel channel: Poking the Matrix with mask humor.

Just in case the psychopaths get people to fall for this absurdity again--here is my survival guide to meme-ing with masks.

The second video was not too shy of two hours (1:56:34) and had been published September 24 to Rumble's WTFLouie channel: Dr Lee Merritt The Biggest Disclosure Yet No One Expected This 13-Sep-2025.

Poisoned minds, poisoned air, poisoned water. A look at who is doing what to whom.

My brother returned to his bedroom after that video, seeking some further rest before setting off afoot for a bus to take him social drinking.

I had my day's first meal and then probably did not get to bed for a needed nap until maybe 1:30 p.m., for there was no sunshine even though it did not rain today, insofar as I noticed. Sunny breaks did start late into the afternoon.

I had my light exercising in my wife's vacant bedroom in the latter afternoon as well.

It has come to my notice that my credit card expires as of this month, but we are having a postal strike so no mail is being delivered. Fortunately it seems that even though the card expires this month, it is still valid ─ it will expire along with the expiration of October 31.

It is now 6:31 p.m. and I am need of a truly feel-good Christmas movie to wash away some of my self-disgust for last night's depravity, so I am going to search one out and watch it while enjoying a couple of cans of Cariboo Malt (7.9% alcohol).

Since I want to get up at 3 a.m. tonight for the ¾-mile round trip hobble over to the elementary school playground to try some pull-ups and chin-ups, I probably won't watch anything else.

But let's see how late the movie takes me.

●●●●●

I watched 2018's Christmas in Love.

I confess that at outset I was hesitant because I felt so ... discoloured ... that I didn't think I had it in me to properly respond to the sort of open and sincere goodness characteristic of a Hallmark Christmas movie. I quickly realized I was wrong once it began playing.

My eyes were to burn a-plenty

Christmas movies like this make me understand why I feel so empty in life with my 76th birthday just nine days ahead. That God would turn His back on me despite my pleas for help even at this stage of my life, it reinforces that I am best dead than to live this through if I am never to know anything more.

And it would be best that I remain dead ─ whatever essence there is that makes me a unique person needs to be destroyed after I sleep, for I require no Judgment. I am guilty of all charges. And I cannot imagine wanting ever to have to live an Afterlife in the presence of the Entity that allowed me to come to this through the turning of His back throughout my life.

But enough of that.

Yes, this was a very good Christmas movie, and I can imagine watching it again as soon as the coming Christmas season if I was in the proper company.

For the first hour and 18 seconds my source was this Soapy.to link, but then it buffered to a standstill and played no more. I needed to carry on by using this OK.ru link.

I have enjoyed lead actress Brooke D'Orsay before ─ at least one other earlier Christmas movie, I have no doubt. She is hardly glamorous, but the actress sure does grow in her appeal as these kinds of movie roll along.

I suppose the movie finished around 8:15 - 8:20 p.m., but I only opened my bedroom door around 8:35 p.m. to use the bathroom, thereby discovering that my wife was finally home ─ her bedroom light is on, and the door only slightly ajar by maybe three inches.

I am writing in the present as I speak of this. My first order of business is going to be to brush my teeth here in my bedroom ─ a 15-or-so-minute job with coconut oil as I do it. So I am now taking another much shorter break.

●●●●●

I was to have a couple of fairly short communications with my wife ─ in the first, she was enquiring whether I wanted to have anything to eat. She can be most solicitous in that regard.

I could have probably managed to watch a sitcom and have a little hard liquor with it before bed, but I want to get there by 10 p.m. ─ I fail at it so often. Sure, maybe I will find myself awake well before 3 a.m., but I feel that I must give my body that option. If I am asleep when my 3 a.m. alarm chimes out, then the extra time was required.

I hope all goes well out there.

That is enough for today. Right now it is 9:33 p.m., and still my brother has not bused to home following his social drinking.

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