Last evening was the fifth consecutive in which I made it to bed before my younger brother was home from wherever it was that he had been drinking. I suppose that I am willing to give him until 8:30 p.m., but I will not risk his condition any later than that ─ he is likely to be no fit company to be trying to watch T.V. with.
I now cannot recall just when I was into my bed, but it was likely around 9:00 p.m.
Unfortunately, I continue to fail at easily finding any sleep. I am certain that I was awake an hour or longer before I found any.
Yet I was awake enough in the midnight hour to be checking the time, so I rose and dressed after determining that my brother had retired to his bedroom for the night.
As usual, I put work into the post I have in production at one of my six hosted websites.
It was my hope to get out to do some local grocery shopping as soon after the store opened this morning as I possibly could. However, I found out online that even though it used to open at 8:00 a.m., it now doesn't open until 9:00 a.m.
I did not like that at all ─ I consider that to be rather late in the morning.
Of course I needed more sleep than I had obtained, so I was back into bed shortly after 4:00 a.m.
I achieved a little more sleep, but found myself checking the time around 7:30 a.m. and then decided to get myself up for the morning.
The morning was mostly overcast at that point.
I took my time and eventually got ready for the outing ─ the market I thought to go to is about four blocks from here. Then just after 9:00 a.m., I set off.
But after walking maybe 100 feet, I paused and reconsidered. There was nothing at the market that I really needed; and I do have a more major shopping expedition planned for tomorrow morning.
That ─ and some guilt I was feeling for venturing out to shop on the day I feel is probably the true Sabbath ─ broke my resolve, and I turned back and came home.
As yet my brother betrayed no sounds of rising yet, so I decided to change into cutoffs and go out to the backyard toolshed to perform the exercise session that was scheduled for there today.
I must say, I am feeling overworked, as if I have been exercising too aggressively. Also, I am not exactly feeling refreshed ─ I am not sleeping at all well.
And when I returned to bed in the early a.m. after being up since during the midnight hour, I was quite newly beset with the beginnings of a migraine aura ─ these can be utterly debilitating. I might have remained up longer than I did if not for the onset of this state.
My return to bed allowed recovery, but there remained the telltale vague pressure headache that is always an aftermath of these auras ─ that is, a headache that manifests itself with cranial pressure whenever I have occasion to bend over.
So overall, I am not physically hale today, and exercising is especially taxing.
I suppose that it was around 10:00 a.m. when my brother emerged from his bedroom for the morning. Then in short order, he announced that it had begun to rain.
And so went the day. The rain occasionally has stopped, but it did become worse after mid-afternoon for some while ─ it was quite heavy. The evening has been similar.
I have some concerns about my shopping trip tomorrow morning. I do not drive, so I will have to walk ─ a round trip of 5.625 miles.
For a day now, I have been wrestling with a rather major (for me) online purchase that would require three separate monthly hits ─ the first is under $50, but the next two would be around $150 each.
I have until tomorrow to make the decision. If I do not take advantage, the regular price of this purchase will more than double.
I only have a monthly retirement pension as income; and this is the worst time of year to be risking that much outlay because ─ apart from the monthly mortgage ─ our annual home insurance becomes due on June 14, and our annual property taxes right at the beginning of July.
I don't want to divulge what the purchase would be for, other than by just saying that it is a self-defence weapon ─ and I so badly want it.
But alas, I feel constrained to resist the investment.
Besides, if God wanted me to have it, would he not then provide?
Maybe it's just possible that the opportunity will present itself again later in the year.
Well, it's approaching 7:00 p.m., and I must get this post cleared away. I don't know if my brother will be showing up earlier than he has done the previous five evenings or not. If he does, then I will be sitting up until near 11:00 p.m. watching some T.V. with him via our T9 Android 8.1 TV Box that only I operate; however, if he is late getting home again, then I will want to be cleared of all hindrances so that I can betake myself to bed and avoid him.
What a fruitless life I lead....
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