My brother was left thereafter with basic cable T.V. to watch, as well as my youngest stepson's Netflix Canada account that my brother is able to access on our T.V.
And so it was that I was into my bed very much ahead of 11:00 p.m.
Sleep would come and go, but I staved off rising too early because I wanted to have enough left in me to be able to make the mile-long hike over to the Walmart Canada at Surrey Place (Central City) as soon after the store's 7:00 a.m. opening as I could manage.
I decided after a time check at 4:08 a.m. that I could handle remaining up and still get away on that grocery shopping errand. First, though, I would put some work into the post I have under construction at one of my six hosted websites.
I was not to get my hike underway until around 6:45 a.m., but that was perfectly okay ─ there was no lineup. There were not many customers in the store at all.
I must say, I did not like how many people seemed to be out and abroad during my walk to the store, however. It was already bright and sunny, and I even saw one woman who seemed to actually be sunning herself on a blanket in Holland Park ─ she had an enormous and unfriendly dog with her that espied me and rose, growling and barking at me in a threatening fashion even though I was not very near to them at all.
It seemed to me that the woman barely grabbed its leash in time to stop its advance toward me.
That one incident alone ruined my entire hike to the store, badly fouling my mood.
Unfortunately, my only purpose in going to the store was for a specific brand of very inexpensive natural peanut butter ─ but there was none on the shelf. Everything else I was to buy was incidental. I would not have gone there to shop if I had known the supply of their peanut butter was exhausted.
There were two other items that I had seen advertised online which I always try to keep in stock and that were apparently on sale ─ but there were neither of these on the shelves, either.
And a fourth item that I intended to buy regardless if there was a sale on it or not was also unavailable.
So the trip was something of a flop.
Not only that, when I exited the store, a sorry-looking older fellow with a greying red beard, and who was seated in a worn motorized scooter or wheelchair, almost inaudibly solicited a handout from me ─ he was tucked away so well to the side of the building that I almost never noticed him.
When I honestly responded to the hoarse-voiced gent that I had no change on me, he then asked about a cigarette. He was already smoking one.
But I was in the process of fetching out my wallet, for I had a solitary banknote within ─ I wasn't sure if it was $5 or $10. I was hoping that it was for the lesser amount, but it turned out to be a $10 bill.
I took it out and proffered it to the chap ─ he was wide-eyed at that point. Hesitantly accepting it, he concernedly asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I responded, "Not really. But I just don't have any change."
He was almost incredulous at this apparent stroke of fortune. He explained that he's of course had people give him as much as a toonie, but never anything like this.
Still expressing his gratitude, he exclaimed that he was never going to forget me ─ the inference being that I was someone he would not fail to recognize if ever he saw me again. I was imprinted into his memory.
It is not often that I have honestly felt like my handout was sincerely needed and appreciated ─ I usually feel like I am getting fleeced. But this guy was as open a book as any such panhandler that I have ever encountered ─ his grateful and undisguised heart was right out there.
I remember thinking during my walk to home that he was actually someone I would not have minded having some level of enduring fellowship with ─ maybe to drink with on occasion. He seemed truly likeable.
As for the $10 bill, I have since realized that I actually found that bill in the alleyway beside my home back in the Winter or maybe even the Fall. I just never had occasion to spend it.
So I suppose that I can look at the handout as not actually costing me a thing ─ the money was never my just desserts in the first place.
No one was yet up from bed when I was back home, but my brother did rise before too very long.
I put a little more work into that website post; and then in the vicinity of 9:15 a.m. I returned to bed for a little further sleep. However, I don't think I was in bed for as long as a full 1½ hours.
In the noon hour, by which time my brother had returned to his bedroom to gain a little further rest ─ he said he needed it in order to get out to do some shopping he wanted done ─ I engaged some sunning in the backyard. Beginning at 12:34 p.m., and wearing only a pair of gym shorts, I put in just over 20 minutes sunning my back; and then I duplicated that timespan sunning my front.
My brother was gone by the time I came back into the house. I then had my day's first meal, after which I got to work on this blog post.
It is now 2:41 p.m., and I am going to seek yet another nap.
oooooooooooooo
Lord, I feel like a need a fabulous night's sleep. These naps find me feeling so lacking afterward.
It is now 4:33 p.m.
I cannot imagine much else will be occurring over what remains of my day, so I believe it best to close shop and maybe put some further work into the website post I've been working on for over two weeks.
If my wife does not show up today and I am to spend the night in our bedroom alone, I think that I shall try to get out early in the a.m. for a good long walk instead of sitting here in thralldom to the website post I keep speaking of.
Exercise of that order is something I crucially need.
I also need a financial miracle, but yet again I find myself shunned ─ I just discovered that the 2020 BC Children's Hospital Choices Lottery was 'drawn' on April 30, and my $115 involvement might as well have been money lit aflame and burned to ash.
As usual, such miracles are for others than I ─ despite seeking a life-changing win in a lottery or sweepstakes for over 50 years. Evidently there is nothing intrinsically worthy or meritorious about me ─ no hidden potential that God can see and is interested in unleashing by providing me the means to be free of my crushing debt and my hopeless, pointless existence.
Lastly ere closing this post, I noticed a 24-second video slideshow that Google Photos automatically created today from a few of the horde of photos that my wife took back in the latter Spring of 2018 when she plunged us even further in debt and charged up a flight to Rome, Italy to visit a sister of hers who has long since made that country to be her home.
The specific photos used in the video slideshow were taken in, at, and near St. Peter's Basilica approximately June 18 (2018):
Time is running out for me. I am 70 years old. Soon, I will have insufficient physical reserves to effect the profound physical changes that I would apply myself toward achieving if only I lived far away from this overpopulated and overdeveloped area that has been my home for almost all of my life.
I have always been a 'country boy' at heart, but it seems that the stresses that keep me shut up here in my heavily mortgaged home will prove inescapable and my ultimate undoing. I am surrounded by miles and miles of nothing by stress.
And since I do not drive, I can do nothing else but remain in self-imposed exile, unable to bear very much on any one day of my unnatural surroundings that inhibit all urges to be out trying to enjoy a walk. Mindfulness is impossible ─ there is no serenity or peace of mind out there anywhere that I can experience. Just miles and miles of city streets and buildings and intrusive humanity.
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