👿👿👿 To Fail, Fail, and Fail Again

X (formerly Twitter): Andrew Zywiec, M.D.

The shame was engaged beginning just after the noon hour and following a bath.

I never rose overnight at 3 a.m., although I did set and hear my alarm. I had failed to retire quite as early as I should have, so I probably wisely chose to remain in bed and try to sleep further.

I later rose around 6:30 a.m. this sunny day.

It was not too very far before 8 a.m. when I visited the backyard tool shed for a half dozen sets of extremely token pull-ups and chin-ups ─ just one in each set, although I believe that I held the dead hang following the final pull-up for a 60-count.

All of the muscles and related structures involved in pulling and chinning myself up felt stiff and strained. But the 20 assisted full flat-footed squats and five unassisted squats were as usual ─ initially uncomfortably touchy for my bad right knee. I held the final squat for a 60-count before forcing out the rise.

My younger brother was to emerge from his bedroom just ahead of 9 a.m., so he got possession of the T.V. Thus, I waited until at least 9:10 a.m. before joining him and soon enough getting his invitation to put our Android TV Box to work.

My wife had a full workday scheduled, so she emerged from her bedroom ahead of 9:30 a.m. and left us possibly as early as 9:45 a.m. ─ around 20 minutes earlier than usual.

I only watched one video with my brother. At 45 minutes (45:44), it had been streamed yesterday to YouTube's AnitaK channel: Surprise Live! with Shadoe Davis and the Ostriches.

Shadoe live in Edgewood, BC

To my astonishment, at the video's conclusion my brother announced that he was taking his leave to get ready upstairs for his drive across the border to visit his daughter (and his still quite new grandson) in Washington state. I don't think it was yet 10:25 a.m. when he left.

I had a substantial early meal; and then late in the morning opted to have today's scheduled bath to free up my afternoon. Perhaps I can blame that meal for my naked weight registering at nigh 180 pounds ─ I did not expect to see that, for I have not registered out of the 170s since possibly the entirety of this year thus far!

But that may be an exaggeration.

Anyway, I went directly from my bath ... into iniquity. As a result of the lost time, I dared not have my usual afternoon nap.

My brother returned, incidentally, while I was vilely shut up in my bedroom, so I had no communication with him. He wasted little time before leaving on foot for a bus to carry him away so that he could go social drinking.

This evening I must get to bed earlier than I have been managing lately, so I am going to take a break now at 4:53 p.m. and probably tune in a Christmas movie to drink to because I need to feel better than I presently do. I am hoping that I will stumble onto an emotionally liberating feature that will help me weep openly here in my bedroom, lamenting just about everything that I have become.

🔴🔴🔴

I tuned in 2018's The Truth About Christmas. I was almost immediately disappointed with my choice. The lead actress (Kali Hawk) and her character did not matter to me in the least. Nor did the feeble plot.

What was I to do? So I endured. 

Heck, straight off I was drawn to supporting actress Michela Cannon and her character considerably more.

It was not until after the scene where Kali's character meets her beau's family and discovers that she cannot lie any longer ─ and is even forced to offer more truth than requested of her ─ that I began liking the actress.

Note that it was after that scene. It was not until she was up in her room reacting hysterically to her own loss of control that her antics started to burst my reserves ─ she was adorable! Where was this actress in the earlier part of the movie?

I loved her! She was astounding as a comedienne, and had gorgeous timing, antics, as well as expressions and wordless articulations.

The movie was to strike me with tender emotion and open humour ─ a wondrous combination. I laughed, and had my tears. 

And I went through two cans of Cariboo Malt (7.9% alcohol) and over half of a glass tumbler of red wine.

By the way, an actress serving as the lead male character's married sister was familiar to me. Judging from the movie credits, I suspect that it was attractive Claire Rankin. 

At the movie's conclusion as I was about to back out of the flawless OK.ru movie link and then have a needed pee, I heard rapid footsteps come up the stairs and directly into the bathroom.

How does my youngest stepson know when best to thwart me, I wondered?

But when I went downstairs with my two empty beer cans to leave them with my brother's accumulation, Bev explained that it was the older brother who was here and about to have a shower ─ he who had moved out in the last half of February to live with his girlfriend.

I never did associate with the lad ─ I was too disgusted with myself for the early afternoon's conduct. I shut myself back into my bedroom until after he was done.

I later thought that he was gone, but just as he was actually to leave, he called up a farewell to me, saying that he had just come back to retrieve his Harley. We still did not lay eyes upon one another, though.

And then as the lad was apparently readying to ride off, he coincided with my drunken brother and had to associate with him for 10 or so minutes.

It all occurred during the early evening with the day still bright and sunny.

Then just ahead of 9 p.m., I decided on one last show and a further beer. But then I realized that it would put me nigh to 10 p.m., and it could well be 10:30 p.m. before I finished up everything I needed to do before getting to bed.

And that would jeopardize another wee a.m. outing that I feel are verging on being vital.

If not for this being a bath day, I could have sunned; so maybe that will be on the books for tomorrow afternoon.

We shall see.

I am going to get to bed extra early for once. It is 9:46 p.m., and I am essentially set to shut things down and embrace bedtime.